Senoritas + A Showdown with Mamasita and Fonda

I am confused as to why anyone cares about Prince Harry getting into a state of undress around the ladies in Las Vegas. If anything one would think he would be smarter about hanging around with people armed with camera phones. However because BHP announced that they will not be expanding the Olympic Dam there isn't much else to be concerned about besides Harry's bits it would seem. Even a member of One Direction was seemingly bullied off Twitter, so it is all happening.

As not to fall victim to the rubbish in the press, I rang Senoritas and made a booking for two at the bar last night. Perhaps because I had read other reviews of the place and have experienced the phenomenon of Mamasita and the enigma that is Fonda, my expectations were quite low.

The entrance to Senoritas

A meagre portion of tortilla chips are placed in front of you with three different salsas after you sit down. This vexed the people next to me as they never expected something to come out complimentary or understand that it is customary that "Mexican" restaurants provide chips and salsa as standard to tide you over whilst you order and chat. In the case of Senoritas, the three salsas that you are given are effectively mild, medium and hot. The hot habenero salsa does not match the intensity that I can make at home but it does pack a bit of a punch.

I immediately ordered a Bohemia beer and Tacos Al Pastor, which is a mixture of pork marinated in pineapple and it is classically one of my favourite parcels of Mexican food. I was very disappointed when I was at Mamasita as the earlier reviews stated that they were serving Tacos Al Pastor however when I visited they were no longer on the menu. Senoritas pretty much hits the mark with them. The meat was tender and no one flavour overpowered one another. One can easily tell someone in the kitchen knew how to prepare "authentic" Mexican recipes. As the tacos are served in approximately 5" corn tortillas that are made on-site, you are left wanting more after you stuff your face. I tried the spicy chicken tacos next which were the special of the evening and was just as impressed.

Getting into my second Bohemia beer, with great trepidation, I ordered the fish tacos. I was having such a good experience at this point, I didn't want it to end as I was scared that the fish tacos would disappoint, like they did at Mamasita and Fonda. When they were served, I tasted the fish and although a tad dry, it was not bastardised by any sauces, oils or other rubbish to distract from it. I added some salsa verde (the mild salsa) and shoved it down my gob and the end result was a smile on my face.

The great authentic food made me wanting more, so I ordered more Tacos Al Pastor, a repeat performance of the chicken taco special and followed up with another round of fish tacos. I also tried their pork and bean taco combination which was different, however worked well when paired with the habenero chilli salsa and the Tapatio tequila that I started to take an interest in. About the only thing I would pass on next time is the side of guacamole as it was too citric but not overtly offensive.

We were getting fairly prompt service from three people including the barman. After my second 40ml glass of the demon tequila, I looked around whilst sitting on my perch and noticed that the place had filled up with happy patrons in a matter of thirty minutes. I was surprised that the noise did not begin to overwhelm, which it never did, considering the restaurant is small.

There were a few skeletons and skulls about but they were all pretty whimsical and fit in with the art and colours of the place. The mood is set by not having to dine under bright lights but with candles littered throughout the place to cause an effective mood.

After retiring to the toilets, I was shocked to discover they were so clean. I suppose after eating authentic food in Mexico where you must relieve yourself on the ground out back of some places or in the sink, the petty first world conveniences are sometimes unexpected when you experience something as authentic in the kitchen that Senoritas is providing.

I thought the food, service and ambiance was great and the food did remind me of "proper" Mexican food so I will be back and I could not stop raving about the experience as I left. It is great having your expectations defied. I certainly look forward to returning.

The Showdown - Senoritas vs Mamasita vs Fonda

• I found Senoritas to be the most authentic and best value for money,
• Fonda is different especially if you are keen for a kangaroo burrito, but has a cafe feeling instead of a restaurant feeling like the other two,
• Mamasita would probably have the best "vibe" but considering the foot traffic, how smaller tables can not be reserved and the noise around the bar detracts from the overall food and beverage experience a bit.
• Most importantly after benchmarking all three places using their fish tacos as a selection criteria, I would return to Senoritas for what they have on offer in a heartbeat.

Senoritas
Link to review
16 Meyers Place  Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9639 7437
http://www.senoritas.com.au
My Rating: 15.5/20
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 3.5/5
Quality: 4/5
Value For Money: 4/5
Comment: Awesome tacos al pastor



Twitter: epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

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At the time of this post, only 62% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like this place. This really shocks me. I did spot people eating tacos with a knife and fork so these are probably the ones that do not appreciate Mexican food or would be confronted by a hot salsa. Come on people, stop eating tacos and burritos with utensils. It is not proper and you also look very silly.

Matilda Bay Bar and Brewery - A Journey of the Damned to Port Melbourne

Whenever you fly Qantas, you are told to "Enjoy The Journey" usually after a delay in taking off after viewing the safety video. Sometimes the journey is all part of the fun and in the case of my recent trip to the Matilda Bay Bar and Brewery which recently opened its doors in Port Melbourne, it is indeed a journey but one of the damned to get to this place.

We all know that drink driving in a vexed problem and that you just should not engage in the activity full stop. With this in mind, a companion and your humble narrator attempted to walk to Bertie Road in Port Melbourne, not far from the Toyota complex, which is where the brewery is located.

I made the mistake of not walking down the pedestrian path that follows the Port Melbourne tram line which is a fine path to follow under any circumstances and instead tried to cut through the various industrial estates south of Yarra's Edge. This proved to be quite the experience.

Following Google Maps to the brewery had us walking on the various streets as there were no footpaths for most of the journey. At one particular hazardous intersection, we found construction workers who were digging a hole for some strange reason and summarily abused us when we went to cross the road. As the workers were concerned with directing the one car per minute that was turning up at the intersection, so it would not drive in the hole that was dug in the grass and dirt on the side of the road, I can see why they were so confused to see pedestrians.

After walking through mud, dirt and grass, a pedestrian footpath came into view and it wasn't long after this we presented ourselves at the Matilda Bay Bar and Brewery.

I did not expect a large industrial complex, but something like Little Creatures in Fremantle or even Red Oak Brewery in Sydney. The forward section of the warehouse has been converted into a food service, bar and service area but this accounts for roughly 20% of the floorspace. You have options to sit at high tables on high stools or very low stools on very low tables.

The service was quick and friendly and adeptly poured some Alpha Ale and Cider which was rapidly consumed. After a few more rounds with equally quick service we decided to order lamb burgers before the kitchen shut. I was not expecting much, since this is a brewery, but the food was great. The lamb tasted like lamb and was not overwhelmed with anything that distracted from it. The bread appeared fresh also and it was certainly nice not to have it come out pressed between 600g of dry Turkish bread that other cafes should be demonised for serving lamb between.

If you are keen, you take a tour of the beer making facilities which I spotted some other guests doing however we were happy to sample what came out of the machinery which was very tasty.

Because this is a large industrial warehouse, it was rather cold and I can imagine it will get pretty hot inside during the summer. I liked the decor (or lack thereof) and found it different however I found it quite inconvenient to get to. You can take the Port Melbourne tram and then do some walking but since there is nothing around this brewery besides industrial estates, you will really want to be keen to taste the beers that Matilda have on offer but when they are served on tap at other fine places in the CBD and Southbank (I noticed that The Boatbuilders Yard will offer you a pint of Alpha Ale for $14) you really have to wonder if the journey of the damned is worth it to this part of Port Melbourne. I could easily find myself taking the train to Balaclava and fronting up to The Local Taphouse, not only because it is a great bar, but there are so many other things to do in the area, including having access to public transport.

I liked Matilda Bay Bar and Brewery but I do not think I will return soon just because it is such a pain to get to. I would also fear that my motorcar would fall into a hole on the side of the road thanks to Port Phillip counsil if I tried.

Matilda Bay Brewing Company
Link to review
89 Bertie St, Port Melbourne VIC 3207
(03) 9673 4545
http://www.matildabay.com.au
My Rating: 10/20
Service: 1/5 (bar service only)
Ambiance: 3/5
Quality: 3/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: Take a tour of the brewery



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
Friendly hyperlink: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

When I posted this, 92% of the people (out of 14 votes) liked this place on Urbanspoon. Not really a consensus.

A Weekend of Debauchery

(Note: restaurant and bar links will take you to the original reviews posted on this blog)

It is always difficult when friends and acquaintances travel to Melbourne to catch up with me. It requires me to actually pick great and fun places to eat and drink at. Knowing there are so many, it is always a challenge. This weekend I was intending to impress more than usual so I decided to take my own advice as written in this blog before, and the results were very interesting.

In Sydney you would never be able to secure a table at a decent restaurant at 11:00 PM on a Friday night but there is no problem with that in Melbourne. I rang up The European and they were happy to oblige. After ordering wine, stake tartare and fois gras with stinky black truffles, the sommelier came over to apologise as he was under the impression the bottle of wine was damaged. Upon further inspection, it did have a very faint disappointing smell however he was happy to take it away and replace it with another bottle. Not only I was impressed by the professionalism but appreciated the gesture. Given we would have just drank the bottle, it was refreshing to see service go out of their way and not wait to be called out on a potential issue. My guest enjoyed the fois gras and truffles and was frothing at the mouth in anticipation as he read my previous blog post whilst experiencing the delay getting to Melbourne thanks to Qantas.


 
After a great late dinner, we left The European and made our way to Manchuria. We were looking forward to early morning Zombies and at $30/each, the bar was happy to deliver them to our table. The bar, considering the time was relaxed and there was a good vibe. Unlike anywhere you would find in Sydney at that time, or really many other places in Melbourne, it was good knowing that we could retreat to Manchuria, have a great time and also enjoy some table service along with potent drinks.

On Saturday, the weekend of debauchery continued and I found myself at The Hairy Canary for lunch. Sharing Jamon Serrano pizza and washing it down with Cricketers Arms Beer seemed appropriate. The service was much more attentive and friendly when compared to my last visit which was refreshing.


 
Bar Americano was next on the list. Although only two cocktails were had, with one being the aptly named "Americano" was as classic as the service. Bar Americano once again proved why it is my favourite boozer that I have discovered since writing this blog and constantly not only impresses but exudes the personality of Melbourne.



Contrasting Bar Americano to the next destination, The Rooftop Bar is pretty easy especially when you are transitioning from classic cocktails in a very small room with drinking pints out of plastic glasses outside but it was worth it. As usual, it was a relaxed experience and I was grateful to see the Saturday afternoon drinkers not taking anything too seriously.

Gin Palace was the next stop and multiple Winston Churchill Martini's were consumed. It is so easy to get sucked into the lounges and chatter away whilst the very efficient table service takes care of you. By the time we left, we were both in great moods and in able to solve the big problems in the world.

Finally Der Raum was frequented. My message remains consistent that Der Raum in my opinion is the best bar in Australia and time and time again, they repeat a process of providing superior drinks and service in a lively and fun atmosphere. When I want to impress visitors, this place is always on my list and continues to evolve from strength to strength. I am just pleased that they put up with my antics especially knowing that I was not in the most sober state, but they have fun with it always ensuring that the guests are safe also.

The activities for Sunday will be addressed in the next blog post so this is the first part of a two part diatribe.

Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

"Best Of" Melbourne Restaurants and Bars after 47 Days and 47 Posts

In preparation for the weekend, I wanted to do a summary of my "best of" experiences as they relate to restaurants and bars that I have discussed on this blog since its conception 47 days ago. These lists do not include restaurants that I had previous experience with before I started writing this blog.

I have some lofty goals for this blog over the next 47 days. Although I have been to Vue de monde, Attica and Cutler & Co multiple times in their own right, I want to visit them once more before compiling a blog post. The post for Vue de monde has been a work in progress for some time since I had the best meal of my life there however that was enjoyed at their old location at 430 Little Collins Street and not Rialto Tower. If my wallet and liver can hold out, I will also return to Jacques Reymond which was the highlight of my dining experiences in 2011 also. Besides the big guns of Melbourne, also keep an eye out for Grossi Florentino, Bavarian Bier Cafe, Yar, The Local Taphouse, Matilda Bay Brewing Company and Merrywell.

The "Top 5" Restaurants that I have discovered in the last 47 days...

1. Cumulus
2. The Atlantic
3. Mamasita
4. Maedaya
5. Bistro Guillaume

Honourable mention needs to go to The Bohemian at South Wharf though.

The "Top 5" boozers that I have discovered in the last 47 days...

1. Bar Americano
2. The Den
3. The Waiting Room
4. Rooftop Bar
5. Ponyfish Island Bar

The Meat Market - Juxtaposing a Sleazy Pick-Up Place With a Fine Cut From The Butcher

Another day and another boat with "asylum seekers" accompanies another timely post on this blog. I certainly know what I would rather read about.

The notion of "good food, beverage and service" is subjective and can be found in most places in Melbourne. Sure, we all have different ideas of what perfect "food, beverage and service" includes and for me my expectations are never set too high, so I am rarely disappointed. I try to empathise with restaurant owners and the delivery teams knowing that they put a tremendous amount of time and effort putting produce to plate and also paying for the surrounds in which one eats it so my subjectivity, although bastardised at times which is applied at different levels to suit not only my mood but the perceived quality of the restaurant according to other reviews, the bizarre rating systems and of course the company that I have normally leads me to look for the positive things about places. There is no reason to tear a restaurant or bar to shreds because of some petty complaint but sometimes I do look on with awe whilst observing and evaluating the environment whilst I stuff my face and fill my stomach with intoxicating beverages. For me, The Meat Market, at South Wharf, was queer indeed and being able to describe it has not only vexed me for some time but stumped me, because really sometimes a narrative just does not cut it.

You are spoiled for choice in the South Wharf precinct. The other week I wrote about The Common Man and the Bohemian, and I was happy to have discovered the latter whilst holding no bad feelings about the former. I would still go to the Common Man and enjoy a breakfast and a Bloody Mary if the circumstances dictate, regardless of the price they set for the beverage on the day, just because I think it is a fun place. The Bohemian impressed me with its wine list, food, service and ambiance and out of all of the places that I have mused about on this blog over the last 45 days since its inception, I think it is one of the unexpected "great" finds that I plan on returning to over and over again. Because the hungry and thirsty patron is spoiled for choice in the precinct, I called into the Meat Market with the epicurean emo for lunch not long ago. I had a slight headache after a recent trip to Maedaya and Der Raum and was looking for something wholesome and heavy to counteract the pain that I was experiencing after enjoying too many good times at the aforementioned wonderful boozer and the awesome izakaya.

The Meat Market drew us in because of the chalkboard outside announcing the daily specials. The open kitchen, clean fit-out, views of the river and the derelict North Wharf (such potential) along with the high ceilings sucked me in like a horny teenager into a sleazy pick-up place, a true Meat Market. The architecture and open space reminded me of one of my favourite restaurants in Sydney, Flying Fish, at Jones Bay Wharf. Not wanting to get rained on, we chose a table inside which the floor manager was happy to accommodate us at. The table was close to the open kitchen. There were not many patrons so I was keen to observe the activity in the open kitchen as I always quickly gain an understanding about a restaurant when I see one work well... or not.

The chef looked like he had as big of a night as I did and I could tell that he did not want to be there. The dialogue between him and his assistant was terse, if not tense, and being within earshot, I thought that I was dining at the Summer Bay Cafe with Irene and Colleen carrying on about the town gossip on Home and Away given what was being discussed, with a good sense of ambivalence from the chef.

The lunchtime kitchen drama aside, the service was friendly. The server and the floor manager would frequently come over to fill the water glasses, refresh my ongoing thirst and need for beer and generally were friendly. It wasn't long until the delivery manager was telling off the server within earshot near the window for not putting something into the terminal. What could have been a request turned into a discussion about a failed task and I actually felt bad for the server as the floor manager appeared to want to blame her for the disappearance of Azaria Chamberlain, the failures of the current Federal government and a raft of other items. Between the drama in the kitchen and question time in the House of Representatives taking place on the floor, I was grateful to have something to drink as it was a bit awkward, at least until the meals were served.

The food was good and there were many items on the menu that I would like to try however the professionalism of the place was poor. I really do not like hearing the kitchen carry on when I am paying for the pleasure. If I wanted to witness bad behaviour like that, I would watch Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. If I wanted to see workers get told off, I would go into the office and be paid to bare witness to Jesus being crucified. I always expect some basic professionalism in restaurant in and amongst the staff.

Given the transient nature of food service, I will return to the Meat Market in about three months as I am sure that the staff will have turned over. Given I really like the ambiance of the place and want to try different things on the menu, it would be a shame to blow the place off completely however I will use time to my advantage and wait for what I expect to be a new contingent of staff. I just hope they do not inherit the bad habits that I observed and experienced.

The Meat Market
Link to review
53 South Wharf Promenade  South Wharf VIC 3008
(03) 9008 8953
http://www.meatmarketsouthwharf.com.au
My Rating: 11.5/20
Service: 2.5/5
Ambiance: 4/5
Quality: 2.5/5
Value For Money: 2.5/5
Comment: Good views and fit-out


Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

As of this writing only 66% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked the Meat Market. I wonder if they observed the same things as I did? I will have to check out their reviews after I post this.

Madame Brussels - Brothel Cum Bar on Bourke Street

Although few things eclipse writing this blog and I realise that my long suffering readers began to enjoy my daily epicurean diatribes, sadly I had to take a break for a few days. It is a sad day when work gets in the way of things that you really like to do however since these ramblings are fuelled by trips to places that provide food, drink and service in and around Melbourne, sometimes I need to prioritise paying the credit card as someone at the end of the day has to win besides Gail Kelly. Besides, I have not come across many restaurants that trade fine food and beverage for the lint in your pocket so I need to keep my priorities in check. After a marathon 40 posts in a row, I thought this blog had a good foundation or "pillars" as what some bloggers call core information so hopefully during my short trip away from the laptop everyone has found a new restaurant or bar to experience based on what you have read here.

At the "Paris-end" of Bourke Street, you will find a brothel that has sense been converted into a bar. Like with the whole mad scientist theme that Croft Institute has going on, the overarching theme for Madame Brussels works. When you actually find the building at 59/61 Bourke Street, you need to navigate stairs in an old building or take the equally old lift to the top floor. Walking out on fake grass (turf) in a make-shift wicked garden of sorts with metal furniture, picket fences and a garden theme that takes me back to my childhood when I used to visit my grandmother is nostalgic however when you see the staff dressed in very skimpy and appropriate costumes that compliments the setting you realise that you can relax in this wicked garden knowing that you will not see Dr Harry or Joanna Griggs hanging around looking to do any repairs or provide any consulting. It doesn't matter if you like looking at girls or guys, usually the patrons and the staff are usually more attractive (according to my bastardised sense of beauty) compared to most other places that I have found and on Saturday afternoons, I have found most of the patrons to be women.

Walking out from the garden, you can sit on the rooftop deck and enjoy both the Melbourne cityscape and table service. The jugs of Mai Tai come at a price however are so worth it and I have been guilty of drinking away many afternoons as their quality cocktails can't be matched. The table service is hit or miss however I have noticed if you tip that the attention levels from the attractive staff are piqued. Try not to sit next to the staff kiosk outside as there is a fair amount of foot traffic around it and it will distract you from enjoying your time at this converted brothel. If you plan on spending some time on the rooftop deck on a sunny day, make sure to take sunscreen and sunglasses.

Madame Brussels
Link to review
Level 3, 59 Bourke St. Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9662 2775
http://www.madamebrussels.com
My Rating: 13.5/20
Service: 3/5
Ambiance: 4/5
Quality: 3.5/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: Saturday afternoons in the sun are great



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When I made this post, 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also enjoyed Madame Brussels.

 

Gin Palace - Down The Rabbit Hole

Look for this sign over the big red
doors on Russell Lane

The first time I visited Melbourne as an adult a decade ago, it was suggested that I drink at the Gin Palace. It saddens me that I can not remember the rogue that recommended this bar so that I could thank him now and return the favour. This is the bar that by far I have frequented the most in Melbourne, have the most poignant memories from, has been the site of immeasurable good times and caused a hangover or two as a by-product of exchanging money for gin-based alcoholic beverages and a martini from time-to-time.

Unlike the Croft Institute, the journey to Gin Palace is rather simple. It is next to Sarti on Russell Place off of Little Collins Street. You can't miss the big red doors which will lead you down the rabbit hole into a darker world with half hidden alcoves, comfortable furniture, nooks and crannies where very attentive table service will encourage you relax, converse and drink some very professional prepared cocktails, my favourite being the Winston Churchill Martini. This boozer is not all about gin-based drinks and Martinis though. Dusty bottles of wine are gaoled in the walls, locked away and gather dust just waiting for you to break them free. The wine list is very special however it is not often that I see anyone drinking it at this place as there is a time and place for everything. Unique beers are on offer and the most memorable is curiously named Vergina.

When the music is on, it never overwhelms and it never distracts from the conversation at hand. Whether it is Thursday at 4:00 PM or Friday at 1:00 AM, the service remains consistently efficient and professional. Many times I have encouraged the bar team just to make my party whatever they are in the mood to make, even to experiment at times, and they have never disappointed. I find it relaxing to be able to leave the decisions to the bar where the product is ultimately ferried out to you on a silver tray.

Some places have to be experienced in person. It is hard to articulate a decade of good times experienced in this alternate world so you will have to take my word that it is a wonderful place and try it for yourself. I am told that the chicken sandwich is to die for late in the evening however I have not tried it and frankly I never knew it existed, so there is something new to look forward to when I visit late in the evening or early in the morning, next time around.

Gin Palace
Link to review
10 Russell Place Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9654 0533
http://www.ginpalace.com.au
My Rating: 16/20
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 4/5
Quality: 4/5
Value For Money: 4/5
Comment: Try the Winston Churchill Martini



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

As of this writing, 88% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like this place.

Maedaya - Japanese Whispers in Richmond

After a particularly long spell at Der Raum, I am not sure if their bar team was trying to get rid of us because we were doing irreputable damage to their catalogue of spirits, but they recommended that we visit either Maedaya or Fonda for some quality food. Being adventurous, and a bit over Mexican food at the time (shocking but true) we wandered the road like prostitutes in the night over to Bridge Street in Richmond with an intention to try a compilation of a sake bar and yakitori grill in what the Japanese would call an "izakaya" instead of a restaurant. 

Maedaya was packed and when the sonic boom of noise, good cheer and greetings exploded when I opened the door, I thought I was at a One Direction concert instead of The Cure, but after my senses regulated, I realised there was some order in the chaos and it was just thirst after the 1km walk from Der Raum on Swan Street that caused me to feel disoriented. Although the very helpful and attentive staff were not able to seat us immediately for foodstuffs we were quickly provided drinks and in my case I opted for a can of sake. Yes, a can, which is something that I have never had. I could not knock it back as quickly as a Cherry Coke, but it was surprisingly sweat and easy to drink and very authentic. I suppose most things would have been after an extended session at Der Raum in retrospect, but that is not the point. I knew that I had found a winner. I never thought about drinking sake out of a can. To me it was like drinking wine out of a can so after I got out of my comfort zone and bias, it went down easily and thankfully.

Surviving the blast of cold every time the door opened was made easy by the constant flow of sake and an environment that just made you happy and want to socialise. After fifteen short minutes, we were escorted to our table and a very long laundry list of food was presented. It wasn't as simple as the menus of Japanese food that all looked the same in Lost In Translation but a comprehensive bible of sorts. There is no sushi or sashimi, but items that originate on the grill (yakitori) or in the kitchen directly. You are encouraged to have many small servings of different things. There were no awkward moments when service appeared with food, would look at you whilst you have a full mouth or talking and are unaware that there is no longer any real estate on the table to place the many dishes that you are bound to order. Everyone was very efficient (I mean very!) and professional.

Sake master and owner Toshi Maeda (Maedaya is translated as "House of Maeda") certainly knows his product and I left the experience a better and more informed person albeit a bit pissed. Not having spent much time eating in an izakaya, it really made my previous experiences elsewhere feel substandard and really feeling ripped off. This high quality, fun and professional experience was very inexpensive in comparison and upon seeing the bill, I nearly fell off my chair in shock. It certainly wasn't from indulging in the sake since I still remember what great value for money it is, which is probably the greatest value for money experience that I have found since moving to Melbourne. If I had not polished off the sake, the restaurant will happily store it for you and make it available on your next visit. Now that is what I call service.

Kampai to Maedaya!

Maedaya
Link to review
400 Bridge Road  Richmond VIC 3121
(03)9428 3918
No web site
My Rating: 15/20
Service: 3.5/5
Ambiance: 3/5
Quality: 4/5
Value For Money: 4.5/5
Comment: Great vibe and excellent value for money



Twitter: @epicurean3006
hate mail or love letters: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
URL: http://www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, a whopping 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked Maedaya. I am certainly one of them.

Bistro Guillaume - Monarchy and Empire

ABC1 had interesting programming last night. The usual unbalanced reporting on the 7:30 Report was expected. Four Corners had a very interesting story on the corruption in the horse racing industry where Tony Mokbel seemingly played a starring role. Q&A was more irritating than usual. The audience almost appeared militant and the breakdown included the following recognised members: ALP 28%, Coalition 43%, Greens 15%. This adds up to 84%. Can one assume that 16% of the audience members were Katter's Australian Party or no longer aligned? One of the panellists, Debbie Kilroy, purports to be a prisoner's rights advocate and was quite vocal with respect to Campbell Newman making various cuts to various programmes. Strangely in 2007 she was admitted by the Supreme Court of Queensland to practice law despite being imprisioned for drug trafficking in 1989 for six years. I was always under the impression that to be admitted to practice law that you had to be of good character. I know of one person who was afraid to urinate behind a tree in Brisbane after leaving a pub for fear of being collected by the coppers and deemed one of bad character. As he was a law student, he believed having a conviction like that would preclude him from practising law. Certainly getting caught urinating behind a tree can not be as bad as drug trafficking but as learned when I lived in Brisbane for a while, it is indeed an interesting place and logic does not really apply.

Bistro Guillaume, located in Southbank at the Crown Casino had been on my list of places to try for some time. I have a great amount of respect for Guillaume Brahimi as a person and find him one of the more down to earth figures in the world of the celebrity chef. I met him at last year's Rockpool Winter Truffle Dinner and enjoyed a conversation with him. He did not exude pretension like some in the industry and he not only took an interest in what I do (which is hard to describe on the best of days even when not under the influence of good wine) however he is both interesting and quite savoir-faire. After dining at his flagship restaurant in Sydney a few times, I was very interested to see how he translated the winning formula, which included a view of Sydney Harbour into a bistro-like setting at the Crown Casino which overlooks the dirty Yarra River.

The first thing you will notice about Bistro Guillaume is the decor. Even a cursory glance into the place as you wander past will leave you with a mad desire to visit. It certainly is not revolutionary or stately but almost whimsical with its lime green and white colours. I never thought that I was in Paris, but I did like the ambience. It made me want to sit down, have pleasant conversation and just hang out. A bistro should engage a customer in such a way, so I give Guillaume some bonus points for psychologically manipulating me in a positive way.

I took advantage of the lunch special where you can enjoy three courses for $55. The highlight of these courses was the steak tartare. It wasn't the best tartare that I have ever (Neil Perry's offering at Rockpool Bar & Grill is currently my favourite) but it does come in with a high distinction. The rack of lamb met expectations but the highlight oddly enough was the zucchini flower that accompanied it. I chose cheese for the dessert course and although it was not really high quality, it complemented the experience and encouraged conversation and assisted in making the afternoon enjoyable.

Upon sitting down, the service was very attentive. A couple of glasses of Mumm champagne was ordered for $20/glass. It started proceedings until a bottle of wine could be liberated from their stock and enjoyed with the food. Funnily enough, the champagne was served in Mumm glasses. The following day I purchased a Costco membership. The same bottle of Mumm, that strangely came packaged with two Mumm branded champagne flutes sold at Costco for $44. Quite a healthy mark-up at the restaurant.

As the dining experienced progressed, service did not remain as enthusiastic as when we started. We were abandoned for periods and both our sparking water and wine glasses went dry at various points. It never got to the point where we were going to dehydrate or became annoyed but it was curious.

I certainly look forward to returning to Bistro Guillaume and trying the roasted chicken with paris mash. I hear it is great. I certainly want to gorge myself with more steak tartare however I may drink one of my bottles of Mumm and a bottle of San Pelligrino that was sourced from Costco before walking over just for financial relief.

Bistro Guillaume
Link to review
Crown Casino, Southbank VIC 3006
(03) 9292 4751
http://www.bistroguillaume.com.au
My Rating: 14/20
Service: 3/5
Ambiance: 4/5
Quality: 4/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: Try the speciality chicken



I still can be found on twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail is: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
I registered a domain, it should be easier to remember: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

As of this writing, only 76% of the reviewers like Bistro Guillaume on Urbanspoon.

Ponyfish Island Bar - A Pontoon In The Yarra

Under the pedestrian walkway that connects Southbank to Flinders Street Station there is a staircase that you follow down to a pontoon that wraps around a bridge pylon that is known as the Ponyfish Island Bar. It certainly can not be mistaken as something that belongs in the Whitsundays, but I think it is an interesting concept. It is easily found if you follow the music when on the footbridge.

Being in such a convenient location attracts the corporate drinkers after 5:00 PM weekdays and especially on Friday night, weather and cold be damned, it doesn't matter, the punters flock here. The tourists and shoppers seem to like it on the weekend. The bar is rather simple, much like the decorations and furnishings. I have never been enticed to languish here for hours because the majority of the seating involves you perching on a wooden crate. My arse is not that doughy so it can become uncomfortable during an extended session.

When I last visited, watching the ferries putter up and down the dirty Yarra, I felt conflicted.. When it is raining, I can not guarantee you will not get wet. It may feel cold in Southbank when you are walking around but it seems much colder when you are sitting on a crate and enjoying a Carlton Draught in a plastic glass or a muddled wine from the cash only bar that does not offer table service.

With all of the options in the area, Ponyfish has an edge because it is different. It is the only place where you can eat, drink, smoke, laugh and listen to music on an island outside in the Melbourne CBD and is very convenient to meet people at. There are plenty of other places in the area that include table service, have comfortable seats and are the same price along the Southbank Promenade though, so mood and weather will dictate frequenting this place most of the time. Speaking of moods, when I fancy a couple of beers and I am in transit across the Yarra River, I do stop at this place but again, a long session does become an uncomfortable and sometimes wet chore. As it warms up, this place will be a more attractive venue, at least for me, however at the price you pay for a beer, you would expect for it to be served in a proper glass and not a plastic one. The food is pretty cheap and cheerful. The staff are good fun. The views are cool and the people that converge here tend to be happy, which really for me is what attending a bar is all about.

Ponyfish Island Bar
Link to review
Southgate Pedestrian Bridge  Melbourne VIC 3006
0426 501 857
http://www.ponyfish.com.au
My Rating: 10.5/20
Service: 1/5 (bar service only)
Ambiance: 3.5/5
Quality: 3/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: They do a good bbq



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this blog post, 87% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like this place.

The Vineyard - The Human Zoo Known as St Kilda

Photo courtesy of  Gary Medlicott, The Age

After reviewing my earlier post on The Den and The Atlantic Oyster Bar, I have to apologise as I could have done much better. I woke up with a bad hangover and very tired and if it wasn't for an alarm that was set I would probably have slept until the sun set today. I still have fuzzy memories of cleaning up my kitchen at 3:00 AM with a glass of Absolute Vodka, Absolute Vanilla and Chambord (so classy I know) as John Cusack was holding an old ghetto blaster over his head with Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" playing in Say Anything in all hours of the morning. With such quality media, I am not surprised that I was motivated to clean, do laundry and act like a pork chop in the wee hours and I am sure that it is understandable also.

The Vineyard on Acland Street in St Kilda is a great place to "hang out" and watch the human traffic that usually resembles a procession to the cemetery which ironically is not far away. Hipsters, bogans, alternative types, bikies, goths and emos all seem to converge at this place and strangely enough, appear happy as they languish outside braving the four seasons in one day, smoking fags and being merry. I have found a trip to St Kilda is not complete unless you dine and sit outside at The Vineyard, which certainly will fill a void in your life if you enjoy watching people that are unconventional. When I was a tourist in Melbourne and used to call Circa my favourite restaurant, I would frequently use The Vineyard as a breakfast location as it is a short stroll from The Prince and is a recommended venue if you are in the area.

Dining and drinking outside comes at a price. When I think of value for money, the term is completely lost on this place. I recently enjoyed a bottle of Melbourne Bitter and a pair of wagyu mini-hamburgers for around $28. The hamburgers satisfied my hunger but I was bemused by the mushroom gravy that was added. I have never had mushroom gravy (or a soup perhaps) added to a patty that purports to be wagyu and I am sure never will again, but honestly you really do not come here for the food or service. The human traffic both in and outside of this place will leave you amused for ages and you may even find it acceptable to get rained on since the drama that plays out is certainly more interesting then anything that happens in Summer Bay or on Ramsey Street.

I find it interesting that in 2006, a man threatened to burn the restaurant down. After being ejected from The Vineyard, he went to a service station where he bought a fuel can, filled it with petrol and returned to the restaurant where he tried to ignite the fuel. Security apprehended the man and the place did not catch fire. This is just some of the sordid trivia that is attached to this place and I am confident if you sat outside long enough you would witness many interesting things. There seems to be an overarching theme involving restaurant arson in Melbourne. First it was The Swagman and later Jamie Oliver's Fifteen was torched. Fortunately The Vineyard survived to feed and amuse the masses and hopefully it will continue to for decades to come.

Be prepared to start a tab or pay as you go though if you do sit outside as there seems to be a problem with people ordering, eating and then fleeing. The old juvenile concept of "dine and ditch" seems to have affected the bottom line of The Vineyard, so now you must excuse the inconvenience. I think it is a great policy though as you are forced to think about your spending which can quickly go out of control if you are not careful.

This is a place you come to meet mates, have a laugh, have a few drinks, listen to music, have "a feed" and watch the world go by. If you want to take service or food seriously, I would encourage you to go elsewhere however what you get is on par with expectations but what I promise, you will have fun.

The Vineyard
Link to review
71A Acland Street  St Kilda VIC 3182
(03)9534 1942
http://www.thevineyard.com.au
My Rating: 10/20
Service: 2/5
Ambiance: 3/5
Quality: 3/5
Value For Money: 2/5
Comment: Pay first if you sit outside



Twitter: @epicurean3006 
I answer e-mails and appreciate suggestions, recommendations or tips if you send them to epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

Only 67% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked this place at the time of this post. Sad but true.

The Den - One of Inequity

After the awesome long lunch last Sunday at the Bohemian and still being in the zone after an extended session at other venues around Southbank, I felt the need for oysters and vodka.The first place that I thought of attending was the Oyster Bar at The Atlantic. Being in a malleable mood, I also wanted to experience what The Den had on offer after seeing it advertised so often by woman that possesses a head that resembles a fish (literally) in the venue's advertising.

The service in the Oyster Bar is just as professional as what you will find in the restaurant and is consistent with what I described in a previous post when I visited the restaurant which was surprising. I was expecting the service not to be as professional since you are in the bar area but that was not the case. After observing another table consume a seafood platter, I was both jealous and frothing at the mouth as it looked substantial and beautiful. My overwhelming desire for oysters did take a hold in the end though. What I did find curious is that you must order three of the same type of oyster where in the restaurant I believe you are only constrained to having to order two from the same region.

Not being content to rest on my laurels, I wanted to explore what was on offer at the bottom of the staircase. I paid the bill and with the epicurean emo in tow, we stumbled down the stairs like thieves in the night into The Den.

I had never seen a photo of the bar and I did have a preconceived notion of what it would be like since we were in Crown Tower of all places. What I found was completely opposite to what I expected. The Den is set up like a stately study, a place that you would find in a mansion in Toorak or the set of Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. It was a pity that I did not spot Nicole Kidman sipping a wine in the corner as the table was occupied by hipsters sharing a glass of Coca Cola as they waited for their table to be made available in the upstairs restaurant sadly.

The barman proved to be quite knowledgeable and very amusing. He recanted tall tales as he poured glasses of 666 vodka. It was not only comfortable but convenient to do our duty by holding up our end of the bar whilst relaxing in a place that defied expectations.

There are hundreds of places that you can drink in the area. You can not compare and contrast the quality of the product as that remains constant, but it is easy to segregate different levels of service. Like with the Oyster Bar and the restaurant upstairs, the service in The Den, remains constantly professional, efficient and amusing when required. Besides The Waiting Room, I can not think of a place that affords the customer this type of service in Crown or the general area for that matter.

Like with the restaurant and the Oyster Bar, quality and service comes at a price, but if you are looking for a relaxed time out and away from the madness of the casino, The Den can not be beat. I am looking forward to returning on a Thursday or Friday night to hear the piano being played. It just seems like the right thing to do.

The Den at The Atlantic
Link to review
Under "The Atlantic", Crown Casino
(03) 9698 8888
http://www.theatlantic.com.au/the-den
My Rating: 16/20
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 4.5/5
Quality: 4/5
Value For Money: 3.5/5
Comment: Great list of spirits and love the decor


Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com