Senoritas - 180 About Face (40 Days and 40 Nights)

It is strange thinking that it has been 40 days and 40 nights since I made a post on this blog. I re-read some of my previous posts and wondered why I was writing about some of the boring experiences as if they were putting me to sleep, I can imagine the public not being too bothered. I vowed to myself that if I started posting again, as I was a bit turned off of dining out in general after a run of bad experiences, that I would actually write about the negative - a theme that I have shied away from in the recent past.

How time flies in the world of hospitality. Before I write my thoughts on my recent trip to Senoritas, here is a wrap-up of what you may have missed:

• Giuseppe, Arnaldo & Sons, the Italian restaurant in Crown that a few years ago actually had an Age Good Food Guide chefs hat closed a few weeks ago. I ate in there once and thought the service was generally bad and the food was poor. In the spirit of not speaking ill of the dead, I will just say that this place will not be missed and I hope that it is transformed into something that will do Crown justice,
• Mercy Bar & Eatery, which is what Virginia Plain morphed into two months ago also shut its doors. This is a shame as I was a fan of Andy Harmer's work along with Mat Bayer's humour and general outlook on service. I am sure they will pop up again somewhere soon as Melbourne needs these blokes active in the industry,
• YAR, the Korean/Japanese confused restaurant at Freshwater Place on the Southbank Promenade closed. No big loss as the food was dull. It is currently being renovated and TGI Fridays will be opening in its place soon.
• Meat and Wine Co. also at Freshwater Place on Southbank Promenade, undertook a renovation and the place looks much nicer not only from the outside but also the inside. I had lunch there a few weeks ago and I was bemused as they were still renovating the restaurant whilst attempting lunch service. A relaxing lunch turned into a quick one mainly because it took ages for anyone to bring me my first Kosciuszko pale ale, but also its replacement. They did apologise for shoddy service and claimed the restaurant was poorly staffed at that time. If I wanted to eat at a construction site, I would have walked over to Prima Pearl or even the Grocon Myer site.
• Alberts Wine Bar at Southgate closed. I spent many relaxing days that turned into nights at this place and am sorry to see it go.
• Shed 5 at South Wharf closed its doors some time ago. A sign posted on the door states that they plan on relaunching as something else at some point but there hasn't been any sort of activity at the site for months. It really comes as no surprise to me that they shut and if you keep track of my weighted rankings, you will understand why.

Now for Senoritas.

I originally wrote about Senoritas on Meyers Place almost a year ago to the day, so it is fitting that I became motivated to write again after visiting this Mexican place, which I have previously evangelised as the "Best Mexican" in Melbourne and made no secret about this when musing about other Mexican themed restaurants in person or on Twitter. Much like how the hospitality scene can change on a whim, using the above restaurants as an example in a mere forty days, Senoritas has gone from being my favourite to being one of my least liked very quickly.

After seeing the spectacle that is King Kong, the epicurean emo and I presented ourselves at Senoritas without a booking. We were told to sit wherever we wanted so we went straight for the bar. We were then advised to sit anywhere besides the bar, partly because other diners in tables were oddly all seated very close to the bar and sitting on a high stool there would have been in turn awkward for all parties, but the staff was using the bar as a convenient place to temporarily (I hope) store rubbish and cartons. In the past, the bar had been a convenient place to dine mainly because there was effectively no wait for alcoholic beverages.

Without looking at the drinks menu, I ordered a Dos Equis beer and was advised that they do not stock that. Pacifico was offered as an alternative, which I happily ordered. The food menu changed since my previous vist and when service came to take our order I quizzed her as to whether the "Tostada de Pollo a la Diabla" can be served as tacos - a special that Senoritas had on offer when I dined there in the past. I was told that it wasn't possible which really vexed me. It really isn't hard to put spicy chicken in a soft corn shell and serve it as a taco, but I suppose like with everything there is a process and without it utter chaos can be expected to transpire if you don't follow a formula. We instead ordered "Pescado a la Parrilla" which essentially was the fish of the day in a taco, the Panuchos de Cochinita Pibil, the slow roasted pork shoulder tacos and the Crustaceos Enchilados, the spicy Moreton bay bugs. The server looked at us with a horrified look and claimed that was a fair amount of food to order. Four tacos and a half of a bug per person I thought was reasonable. We also decided to have the Salsa del Dia, the salsa of the day as a starter since it was nearly 10:00 PM and we were very hungry. The salsa was dark and very sweet. It was a strange taste that I personally did not like and after enjoying the trio of freshly made salsas at Senoritas in the past, which were not only really good but provided an array of flavours ranging from mild to hot, I was disappointed.

The fish tacos arrived and I immediately understood why the server looked shocked when we placed our order. These were not classic tacos that I expected, not only from my history of dining at Senoritas, but also taking into consideration the "street food" concept. There was a huge mound of corn salsa that blanketed the fish and extended nearly to the edge of the soft shell. It was nearly impossible to eat with your hands, a mess was ultimately made and I could not taste the fish which was marlin. A 40ml serve of Ilegal Mezcal Anejo tequilla was required to take the edge off along with a refill of beer, before taking on the next round of tacos.

Slow roasted pork shoulder tacos with cinnamon, orange, thyme, beans and pickled red onion followed. Not only visually unappealing, the sweet taste of the pickled red onion put me off. I scraped it off and tried the blob of beans and pork, which looked completely out of place on a soft taco shell, and once again, there was so much product on the soft shell, it was nearly impossible once again to eat with your hands and I made another mess in the process. The lack of flavour and general dissatisfaction caused us to send our dishes back to the kitchen. The host quizzed me as to why I did not like this dish, so I told him my thoughts. I also asked if the chef had changed in the restaurant as the recipes and influence had changed drastically and I was told that the head chef had indeed changed which explained why the tastes had made a very distinctive 180 degree turn.

The Moreton bay bugs cooked in lime and achiote butter was grandfathered partially from the previous menu and head chef however it was previously served with a dash of habanero pepper. I asked if the hot pepper was an option and I was given a side of habanero chili which really added the kick that I wanted. Although the bug was fine, I was reminded why I stopped dining out as frequently as I once did. I started thinking I could have made much better Mexican inspired food at home (including purchasing fresh seafood which would have been fun to grill) for much less than my share of the $183 food and drinks bill at Senoritas.

The simple yet authentic tastes that I learned to love and expect at Senoritas is now just a fond memory much like their tequila tasting nights. Although I do like the dark yet colourful brooding fit-out, it is not a substitute to return for this menu or the current interpretation of Mexican food.

Senoritas
16 Meyers Place  Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9639 7437
http://www.senoritas.com.au
Current Rating: 12/20 (-3.5 change)
Service: 3/5 (-1 change)
Ambiance: 3.5/5 (nil change)
Quality: 2.5/5 (-1.5 change)
Value For Money: 3/5 (-1 change)

Review from 23/08/12 (15.5 rating)

Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

When I first reviewed Senoritas on 23/08/13 , 62% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked the restaurant. One year on, at the time of this blog post, 72% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like it.

Man Tong Kitchen Crown Casino - Lego House

After a recent excursion to see Hate at the Malthouse Theatre, I was challenged to nominate a restaurant that would be open and still happy to provide service on a Monday evening at 9:30 PM in or around Southbank. I immediately thought of the usual suspects at Crown Casino but then remembered that Man Tong Kitchen recently opened, which is next to Jimbo & Rex at the old location of the dodgy pub on Level 1. This would turn out to be my first time dining in Man Tong Kitchen, but knowing that it is the sister to HuTong Dumpling Bar on Market Lane, which I am quite a fan of, I had high expectations when I presented myself with one other at the late hour.

We were welcomed by a phalanx of smiling faces and shown to a table in the dining room which is bold and bright, bordered by private areas to dine, wine cases, glass to awkwardly observe eager punters feeding the pokies in the adjoining casino floor and a very symmetrical clean fit-out that Chairman Mao would be impressed with.

As it was a Monday evening and I was missing Q&A I didn't think it was appropriate to get stuck into the wine, so I opted for bottles of beer to match the various dishes. The menu is a bit of a design for a lego house where icons such as chef hats, chilies and wine glasses with various numbers are used to denote various specialities of the house, heat factor and what sort of wine the dish would appropriately match with. Traditional Chinese food at times is enigmatic when it comes to proper matching so I thought the guide was insightful and amusing at the same time because I am surprised that other Chinese-inspired restaurants haven't made the process so straight-forward.

I couldn't resist ordering the Signature’s Xiao Long Bao (4 pieces for $8.80) to start which had two chefs hats next to the entry on the menu. When the soft steamed dumplings arrived, I eagerly and deftly used my chopsticks to toss one into my salivating mouth being quite famished considering the late hour and the fact that I actually exercised earlier in the day. There was nearly an accident as once the contents of the dumplings exploded into my mouth, I had to exert the most control I could over my body not to expel the piping hot soup. As my mouth was filled to capacity, I could not cool it down with Heineken and instead suffered through the most horrible yet self-inflicted pain that I have experienced in some time. With a scorched mouth, I enjoyed the dumpling however was much more careful with the second one and will forever be cautious with these little sacks of mystery in the future. I guess I should have known better.

After cooling my mouth down with another bottle of Heineken ($9.80) I went to work on my share of Szechuan Pork Wontons with Hot Chilli Sauce (8 pieces for $15.80) which also were denoted with two chef hats but also a warning that they were spicy with the cute but ominous chilli icon on the menu. I am certainly not afraid of a little spice, and although I was expecting a numbing sensation which was not delivered, the tastes in general were good and did not disappoint. The chilli sauce was spicy and hot as you would suspect and I couldn't get enough of it. 

Shredded Chicken with Chilli Oil Szechuan Style ($15) and yet another one chefs hat special followed. This is an intentionally cold dish and seemed awkward as it crossed my palate. Perhaps because my palate was confused because the chicken seemed to have a slimy texture - not like the type you would find leftover in your refrigerator after a roast. Of course this is the intention of the kitchen, but it is still an odd taste. The chilli oil certainly provides the required heat and taste and once again my mouth did not end up numb thanks to the Szechuan seasoning.

Moving to more traditional fare, we opted for the Braised Fish Head Soup in Hot Pot (For 2 Persons at $18.80) and this proved to be a tedious yet wonderful dish. Tedious in the fact that you had to be careful not to eat the bones that litered the soup, including the jaw bone and teeth of the fish but the hot pot was worth the sacrifice of time to sort through the bones. It was creamy and pleasant and provided a delicate and delightful resting place for the fish. The restaurant also provides many options from their Live Seafood menu, the most intriguing being Shanghai Style Braised Sea Cucumber with Spring Onion ($58) and Fo Tiao Qiang (Steamed Abalone with Shark Fins and Fish Maw) ($98 per person) along with the morally confronting Shark Fin soup which has fallen off many restaurant menus in recent times.

Avoiding my desire to have Peking Duck since I have mastered the dish at home (I can make a whole Peking Duck for $20 whereas the cost at this restaurant is $85) knowing that I would be a bit frustrated on the value for money front, we opted to conclude the meal with Deep Fried Boneless Chicken with Dry Chilli ($29.80) which was another spicy and recommended dish and it was a great way to end the meal. Simple but traditional Southwestern Chinese (ChongQing) food and rounded out the menu choices.


Service, although attentive when you went out of your way to catch their stare whilst they languished on the boundary of the restaurant were never really too proactive however they were very efficient once you got them interested. Considering the convenience, exciting fit-out and the massive amount of food and beverage options, I will certainly be returning and also consider one of the private rooms the next time I need to host a function or a large group of friends. After all, "Man Tong" is translated as "Full House" which is what I would expect if I planned a meal out with friends and acquaintances.

Man Tong Kitchen

Crown Casino, Level 1 West End
8 Whiteman Street, Southbank VIC 3006
(03) 9686 9888

http://www.mantongkitchen.com.au

My Rating: 14.25/20

Service: 3.25/5

Ambiance: 4/5

Quality: 3.75/5

Value For Money: 3.25/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 62% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Man Tong Kitchen, however there are only 59 votes so the sample pool is quite small.

Don Don Swanson Street - Cheap Monday

After paying my credit card bill for the previous month of debauchery, I thought it would be appropriate if not necessary to visit a few smaller and cheaper places and find a few winners around Melbourne before the weekend comes (or I lose interest in this phase) and I continue my epicurean journey through The Age Good Food Guide winners and of course drink at some new bars just for fun since I haven't done a rambling review of a drinking hole in a while.

It was with only a few pink notes and coins on my person I went out yesterday looking for "cheap eats" which are not really fun to write about as not much has to be involved in the decision making process to buy something cheap and cheerful and go on your merry way. If you find it disgusting or delightful, you really don't take the time to tell your friends because what did you lose in the end? A $10 note? Surely nobody wants to read about such a tale on here. I suppose I will find out.

So I meandered to Don Don on the corner of Swanston Street and Little Lonsdale Street. It is known seemingly as a popular Japanese teppanyaki takeaway and on this occasion, the queue for service was spilled out on to the street. Still being in a relaxed holiday mode, I had nowhere else to be so I happily joined the queue to see what all the fuss was about.

This is a small venue and doesn't accommodate many seats for the ravenous diners. By the time I got to the counter and placed an order for a Teriyaki Chicken ($7) sweat was dripping down my back and through other crevasses throughout my body. It was hot in this place and with two queues; one for service and one to pick up food, I can't say it would have been very comfortable for the handful of people that choose to eat in the amazon rainforest-like conditions.

After ordering, I joined the other queue to pick up my order, I was amazed at how efficient the staff were in getting punters out of there and filling orders. As there are a few tables outside and of course the green grass outside of the State Library across the street, there are other relaxed facilities to eat what incidentally I found find to be tasty takeaway. Cheap and cheerful indeed which beats the flavour of anything that you would get at Melbourne Central. I found very little cartilage attached to the chicken, which was freshly grilled. It is really good value for money in the area and you don't mind having a good sweat it is worth a visit.

Top it off with a $1 large frozen coke from Hungry Jack's and a $7 ticket to see "Quartet" at the Palace Kino cinema and I was able to occupy myself and be satisfied for $15 all up for the afternoon. Now that is a cheap Monday worth writing and talking about.

Don Don

Link to review

321 Swanston Street, Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9662 3377

no web site

My Rating:N/A

Service: n/a

Ambiance: n/a

Quality: n/a

Value For Money: n/a

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 92% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Don Don Swanston Street.

Beer DeLuxe - It is all happening in Federation Square

It is a happy day. Today is the last day that Channel Ten will air "The Circle" as it has been axed along with Yumi Stynes and to commemorate this much anticipated event, I am timing this post to coincide with the start of their last show. You may remember that earlier in the year she made a sexist and disrespectful comment about Victoria Cross recipient Ben Roberts-Smith. I am sure Yumi will end up on the air doing something that we should supposedly care about soon enough though. If only Lara Bingle and "The Shire" would meet the same fate as Yumi, I would feel like I have won the trifecta for the month. It isn't hard for me to avoid all of this garbage as I do not watch anything, and I mean anything, on Channel Ten however I was subjected to Lara Bingle's five minute ad promoting New Zealand when I went to a screening of The Dark Knight Rises. I was stunned to think that the kiwis think that Lara Bingle can encourage Australians who have never been to New Zealand to visit. This is five minutes of my life that I will never be able to reclaim.

This week I have found myself in Federation Square on two occasions having fun. Last night I attended the Federation Square Wine Awards in the Atrium. It proved to be a good venue to taste wine although I pity the people manning the table from Hanging Rock Winery as they were closest to the entrance and thus the cold outside weather. Enjoying their pinot noir kept me warm after starting off with everything that both Red Hill Winery and Seville Winery had on offer. Seville incidentally took out the most awards including the "best wine" award for their current release Chardonnay. It proved to be a great wine and I am looking forward to visiting their cellar door in the Yarra Valley soon. When I returned home I was in no shape to write anything on this blog however I managed to partially hoover my unit for some unknown reason. It was evidence of a good night indeed and fortunately I did not lose my phone.

The other day I tweeted that I intended to visit the ACMI and view the "Game Masters" exhibition. 95% of what this exhibit has on offer are working video games. The classics like Pac Man, Space Invaders, Centipede and Elevator Action are what you first see when you enter the exhibition. All of the games work and are free to play. It didn't take long to reacquaint myself with Mario and start jumping barrels in Donkey Kong or drive the car in Out Run. As you progress through the exhibit you find the current games available for Wii, PS3 and also a fair amount of PC's that are equipped to play titles like Minecraft and Diablo 3. I tried a 3-D game for five minutes which was a weird experience and also tried my luck playing Angry Birds on a large touch screen plasma screen. It was well worth the price of entry.

Before attempting to liberate The Princess of Zelda and relive my wayward youth, I had lunch at Beer DeLuxe in Federation Square. This place was originally recommended to me by my cultured mate in Brisbane (yes, these types do exist in Queensland, although they are very rare) before I travelled to Melbourne a few years ago to watch us get our arses handed to us by the English during the Ashes series. I spent a fair amount of time in the Beer DeLuxe beer garden which flows onto Federation Square, drinking their craft beers and eating from their hamburger bar. From the beer garden you can watch the giant television in Federation Square and be amused if you enjoy watching people. Beer DeLuxe is constantly rotating the craft beers that they have on offer on tap which makes it an intriguing place to visit if you are into beer.

Over the last two years I have frequented Beer DeLuxe multiple times and enjoyed a lunch there before venturing into the ACMI the other day. It was too cold to languish in the beer garden so I opted to eat in the salon downstairs which has a different menu on offer along with a range of craft beers on tap and in the refrigerator. They update their website weekly with the beer that is available which is useful. The table service was efficient and friendly and we were even quizzed as to whether we wanted a fork and knife to eat the messy yet very tasty buffalo wings that were ordered as the first dish. It would seem that some people actually use a knife and fork, which we laughed about, to eat buffalo wings there. That is something that I would like to see. The wings are served with a very mild blue cheese dipping sauce which was a great match. A Napoletana pizza was brought to us next which was cheap and cheerful and loaded with anchovies. I never say no to these little fish on the pizza which matched well with the Sierra Nevada that I was drinking. Full of liquid courage, I then attempted to free Zelda from her captors and was resoundingly defeated.

Beer DeLuxe
Link to review
Federation Square Melbourne VIC 3000
(03)9663 0166
http://www.beerdeluxe.com.au
My Rating: 13.5/20
Service: 3/5
Ambiance: 4/5 (Includes beer garden)
Quality: 3.5/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: Check site for current beer on tap



I still can be found on twitter... @epicurean3006

On Urbanspoon, at the time of this post, 70% of the reviewers like Beer DeLuxe. Regardless of whether you visit the beer garden, salon or grill, if you like beer and cheerful food, you will like this place also.

A Return to "The Pier" + A Weekend of Sport

I would never bother watching the golf but I laughed when I listened to the commentary about Adam Scott blowing his chance to win the latest competition. The Newcastle Knights led by the man who never smiles, Wayne Bennett, managed to beat the Kiwis in the NRL despite a strong start by the Warriors. I can only imagine Andrew Johns having a bit of a party on the sidelines.

"Disappointing" is the politically correct word that comes to mind when I think of the announcement by Cricket Australia with respect to the forthcoming summer of cricket. After we were spanked by the South Africans in Australia four years ago, I wasn't too surprised that their forthcoming tour of Australia will only be three games. A second Sri Lankan tour was also announced to follow up our impending loss which will include matches at the MCG and SCG. I can watch virtually any team play cricket but I think the Sri Lankan team is boring and have never been interested in watching them so I will not be busting down the gates of the MCG or the SCG to get a seat. It will almost be painful to watch on the television as I am fearful that I will fall asleep in my beer so I may have to retreat to the Whitsundays and work on my tan and not succumb to the frustration that is our national cricket team is.


Although I never demonised The Pier in my recent musings on this blog, I did state that I would be keen to return in the future to enjoy their soft shell tacos and also the offerings out of the tap at the bar. On Saturday, I decided to meet two others at this place as a substitute for attending the Collingwood-Hawthorn game at the MCG. A mate was flying in from Sydney and knowing that he as landing at Tullamarine at 1:20PM, I figured it would be rather dramatic for him to attend the game before the second quarter. As we are both Collingwood supporters, we toasted my decision later at The Pier in Port Melbourne as it would not have been very fun to watch the Magpies get their collective arses kicked.

Before retiring into the lounge at The Pier to (enjoy) the game, we indulged in soup, soft shell tacos and fish tacos in the restaurant. The tacos are very tasty but I do prefer the soft shell offering compared to the fish. My only criticism of this dish is that they continue to use toasted flour tortillas instead of corn ones. The dish is simple and no wacky sauces are introduced to obscure the flavour of the crab. We did not want to venture away from the "Starters" despite being quizzed multiple times if we have decided on our mains. Being quizzed incessantly about Mains is a pet hate of mine. We probably would have ultimately ordered a main (for me the duck risotto looked interesting) only because it was a late lunch, we had other dinner plans and because we also wanted to retire to their lounge to watch the Magpies lose.

Their lounge is relaxing and comfortable. A fire rages on a wall and a couple of televisions are erected for viewing sport and also silly television shows. I wasn't sure that they planned to broadcast the AFL as when we arrived Zac Efron was singing about something in what I assumed was High School Musical so I was elated to find the AFL being broadcast when I later returned to the area with a beer. Although they do not provide table service in the lounge, both the bar and the toilet are in striking distance and it is not inconvenient to hang out and watch the sport at this place. When I previously attended The Pier, I thought that it would be a good candidate for a relaxing Saturday afternoon so I was pleased that I was not disappointed.

The ramblings from my previous experience at The Pier can be found here. 

The Pier
Link to review
1 Bay Street  Port Melbourne VIC 3207
(03) 9646 3990
http://www.thepier.net.au
My Rating: 12/20
Service: 3/5
Ambiance: 3/5
Quality: 3/5
Value For Money: 3/5
Comment: The lounge is quite relaxing



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this writing, 56% of the punters who reviewed The Pier on Urbanspoon liked it.

Rooftop Bar and Melbourne Aquarium (Thursday Hedonism Part I)

What started off as a quick lunchtime excursion to the Melbourne Aquarium turned quickly turned into a wild and wanton day where I accumulated so much intelligence on both places I have frequented in the past but also new venues that can easily turn into favourites. I am looking forward to detailing these experiences and posting them over the next three days.

The latter part of the afternoon turned into a relaxing session at the Rooftop Bar which is located at 252 Swanson Street, Melbourne inside the formidable Curtin House. A dodgy old lift is prepared to take you to the sixth floor slowly and when you emerge onto the rooftop after climbing an additional set of stairs I immediately wondered why I hadn't been here before.

Some pints of beer and cider were ordered and it was quickly served in plastic pint glasses. The lady behind the bar had attitude, but the good kind of an attitude that you would expect in a trendy yet relaxed setting. Hipsters languished at the various tables and I overheard one speaking about bogans that have deviant sex lives whilst rolling cigarettes. They seemed harmless enough. Portable heaters adorned the area and I happily took up a perch next to one and as the minutes turned into hours I found myself getting closer and closer to the warming device.

They have a lunchtime menu and were promoting a $12 burger that has two patties. I believe for $15 you can purchase one with chips. After having a quick lunch at the Meat and Wine Co in Southbank earlier, I wasn't hungry but I am intrigued by their menu and I will be returning to sample it and of course enjoy some beer, the sun if it is out and the always interesting Melbourne skyline.

This is the first part of a three part post. The second part can be found here. The third part here.

Rooftop Bar
Link to review
Level 7/252 Swanston St Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9654 5394
no web site
My Rating: 14.5/20
Service: 3/5
Ambiance: 4/5
Quality: 3.5/5
Value For Money: 4/5
Comment: Relaxed and great view



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this writing, 94% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked this place. I can understand why and fully agree.

View from the Rooftop bar, taken with my Android phone as the sun sets.

Before making the journey to the Rooftop bar, and even before lunch, I spent a couple of hours at the Melbourne Aquarium. Not only did I have a "buy one get one free" entry coupon in my Entertainment Book, but I was keen to visit and see the penguin exhibit. I had not been to the Aquarium in a decade since I first visited Melbourne as an adult with my mate Andrew and I was also keen to see how it changed.

The penguin exhibit is amazing. I could spend hours just looking at the King Penguins waddling around and observing how they socialise with one another. There is both an enclosure that is filled with snow and some rocks that the King penguins seem to like and another area where there is water that the Gentoo penguins fancy to swim in. Both of the areas are connected and when they walk down the hill from one section to another, frequently they will take a bit of a tumble and slide down it which reminded me of the first time that I snowboarded as a teenager. The penguins certainly were not stressed and when I left the exhibit, neither was I.

King Penguins at Melbourne Aquarium. Photo taken with my Android phone. This is a must-do experience before eating or drinking in the area.

The Pier Restaurant, Queen Lear, Shane Watson Returns to QLD

Not long ago, after a particularly long and pressured day where I earned my money professionally for a change, I decided to meet my learned friend and counsel at The Pier Restaurant in Port Melbourne for food and beverage. After spending nearly twelve hours uninterrupted in front of this laptop on my uncomfortable chair, I decided that it would be best to walk to Bay Street in Port Melbourne just to restore my sanity so I followed the footpath that follows the tram line, braved the cold and ended up on a bar stool ordering a Carlton Draught about thirty minutes after my journey began.

Traffic had delayed my drinking buddy so I had a chance to chat with the barman about the building and other places in the area, including the old Beaconsville Hotel where David Hookes was bashed and killed by the bouncer a few years back. After another thirty minutes and two Carlton Draughts later, my learned friend turned up. He was in the mood to celebrate as he had just gotten a client off the hook in some court matter so he ordered a bottle of champagne. That bottle was consumed after we moved outside under the heat lamps so he could smoke and bang on about the law. After we drank the Veuve Clicqout and he smoked a pack of cigarettes in about 23 minutes we retired inside for some food.

It was a Wednesday and the restaurant was very quiet. As we had spent so much time outside carrying on like pork chops, the kitchen was keen to get our order as it was obvious that they wanted to close it. My first starter was the French Onion soup which was very salty and tasted like something that I would get out of a can from the local Coles. I then had the soft shell crab tacos. For those of you that have read by previous blog posts will know that I have a particular affinity to Mexican influenced dishes and seafood where soft shell crab is one of my indulgences. The kitchen got the soft shell crab right and there was a fair amount to eat but it was nearly impossible to eat in the taco, which was a flour shell, without it falling all apart. I thought it was a noble attempt at something different and I would return for this dish and some more beer at the bar. The steak that I finished with was a steak. Nothing special. It probably cost $4 at the CostCo and was being sold for around $30. The service was efficient and friendly however rushed because they wanted to close off the restaurant area later in the evening. Given the proximity of The Pier to the beach (for the lack of a better word) I would return to utilise the services of the bar, perhaps enjoy a few more soft shell crab tacos when the weather warms up a bit and have pleasant conversation with mates but I will not be rushing back to the restaurant with so many other options in the area worth exploring.

Perhaps it was because I enjoyed a few "Ranga" beers (for red beer, they were very tasty) at the MTC bar before Queen Lear commenced last night, but I felt pretty tired. There were a few sick people in the audience, one older woman had a bad case of bronchitis and with the distraction of the sounds of the doctor's surgery around me along with my own fatigue, it was hard to become engaged in the dialogue at first. As I was not familiar with this particular Shakespearian tale, it was rather hard to keep up with what was going on as I was missing out on listening to dialogue as the woman behind me attempted to cough up her lung and uterus. I am not sure if it was because it is a three hour play with a twenty minute intermission or because the other theatre goers were experiencing the same angst but after the intermission, at least 50 people did not return. The last act did answer many of the questions that I had and filled in the blanks. There was a moment when the lady in front of me looked like she was going to faint as I noticed her gasp and hold her face when one of Queen Lear's daughters was having Gloucester tortured and his eyes removed with a sharp object. As the second eyeball thudded on the stage floor, I thought she too was going to go down hard but that was not the case. Perhaps the lesson learned was to attend Shakespearian plays that cost a fair amount of money in the summer months when people tend not to have the flu. The forthcoming performance of "Helicopter" looks interesting so I will be attending that next month.

The big news in Queensland is that Shane Watson is going to be put back together to play for the state 20/20 team. I don't see why this is a big deal in the cricketing world. Because of his national commitments and the fact that he is nearly always injured, how many 20/20 games do they really think that the man will be playing? There was an additional passage in the article that states it is good for the Brisbane 20/20 team as his wife, Lee Furlong, is a sports reporter and will take an interest. The only time that I remember her taking an interest was in the Boxing Day test a couple of years ago when Shane got his second century. For an opening batsman and so-called "all rounder" one would think that having two centuries over a period of eight years playing on and off (mainly because of injury) for the national team would be demonised a bit more. They drop other players for doing much more so once again we get to build up for a summer of cricket on false hopes created by the media where our under-performing national team looks to be trashed by the South Africans.

A few weeks later I visited The Pier once again and had a better experience. That blog post can be found here.

I can be found on Twitter on @epicurean3006

My Mexican Cousin + Napoleon @NGV and Internet Dating

Earlier I needed to go to the Melbourne Theatre Company box office and secure tickets for tonight's showing of Queen Lear. I thought I would get around to using a voucher from the Entertainment Book and given the cost of an adult ticket is $95, it is great return on the original investment of $65 for the book. The last Shakespeare adaptation that I saw was Julius Caesar at the Sydney Opera House. I would have enjoyed this more if the schools hadn't forced their teenage charges into attending the show. The teenagers caused such a disturbance you could even tell at a point that the actors were pissed off. So I am looking forward to a civilised evening and being I have never seen a play put on by the MTC before, I am quite excited.

Next to the MTC is an innocuous looking place called My Mexican Cousin. I hadn't eaten anything since my feast of unknown sewerage in the Qantas lounge last night so I was quite hungry and given it was late in the afternoon I was surprised that they were still serving food when I rocked up. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am in Melbourne which is much more service oriented compared to Sydney so I should not be surprised they were more than happy to entertain us. Some interesting artwork and murals adorn the wall. This place has a creole influenced menu and a bottle of Louisiana hot sauce on each table. The bottle claims that one drop is enough to add sufficient heat and spices to any dish. I ordered a Po' Boy with soft shell crab. It was awesome. I ended up using 20% of the bottle of hot sauce though as let me assure you one drop is not enough. Three "Mountain Goat" bottles of beer were sufficient to wash it down. I will come back again to not only enjoy another Po' Boy, but also try the ribs and gumbo. The service was very friendly and enjoyed having a laugh when I told bad jokes. Decent music played in the background and I thought the place was pretty cool but not in the hipster-trendy way.

My Mexican Cousin
Link to review
Melbourne Recital Centre, Southbank VIC 3006
(03) 9686 3389
http://www.mymexicancousin.com.au
My Rating: 13.5/20
Service: 3.5/5
Ambiance: 3/5
Quality: 3.5/5
Value For Money: 3.5/5
Comment: The bottles of spice are not hot enough



Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this writing, My Mexican Cousin has 61% positive feedback on Urbanspoon which is rather concerning because the food, service and ambiance is just so damned good.




Over beers, I reflected on the Napoleon exhibition at the NGV with my dining companion. I attended it on Bastille Day which was fitting and despite it being a very crowded (by human beings) exhibit, I enjoyed the artwork, the maps on display, Napoleon's throne and some of the other relics from such a bygone era. As you travel around the exhibit, your memory is refreshed on French history, including the demise of Louis XVI, the rise of Danton, The Reign of Terror and of course the Napoleonic era. There were some parts of the exhibit that seemed to be filler, but considering the tickets were $10 each since it was Bastille Day, I thought it was worth it. Now I not only want to re-read A Tale of Two Cities but want to indulge in some French food.

Ultimately moving the conversation away from civilised topics like art, food and causing mayhem, we reflected on internet dating as the more Mountain Goat was consumed. One mate that I caught up with briefly yesterday in Sydney seems to be addicted to meeting ladies on eHarmony.com.au. He always has a good story and in fact abandoned me at one point in the Forbes Hotel last night because he needed to meet one of his finds. He goes on dates with new women as often as I dine out and/or drink so that is saying something. I was reflecting that this gentleman tends to prefer to meet women at one particular wine bar that has a large window in the men's toilet. Should he get bored or decide that she is "not the one" he will excuse himself to the toilet and then climb out the window and leave. I would think that telling someone that "they are NOT the one" would be easier, or just be crass and just enjoy each other's company on a physical level, but with this gentleman, nothing is ever that easy. This is why he remains single, and although a successful individual, I am not very surprised. Before he found this "perfect" wine bar and the large window, he was known to escape by going out the front door of a venue commando-style on his stomach almost like a newborn baby crawling towards a shiny object. Pretty amusing stuff if you ask me.

Station Hotel in Prahran, Banksy "Artwork" Destroyed

I read an interesting article in The Daily Life today entitled "Are Restaurant's A Waste Of Money?" that is worth checking out. I agree with the author for the most part. Before the GFC, I would spend with reckless abandon at restaurants and I used to brag (perhaps I am still bragging now, I am not sure) that I went to Vue De Monde 24 times and spent in excess of $1,000 each time as a minimum, sometimes per person. Now since I seem to be more interested in true value for money and the experience, I have learned that you can not easily buy these things. It is in fact easier for an experience at Vue De Monde to go pear-shaped when spending that sort of coin as the smallest thing can ruin your night. Once my degustation experience was nearly ruined because I was insistent that Daniel McPherson's table was getting better service then mine. It is amusing to think about the conditions in retrospect. In the future I will be detailing my experiences at Vue De Monde, but for now, I will write about simpler things.


The area around the Station Hotel is a bit trendy, a bit hipster (sadly) and sometimes a bit weird. It is handy to have the station so close but with that comes the "element" as my old man would call it. It is only a short walk to the wall that was recently altered by workers that effectively destroyed the Banksy rat artwork. A photo is provided below.

The Banksy "Rat" which was destroyed by workers installing new pipes.

Yesterday I met my learned friend and counsel at The Station Hotel in Prahran. I expected the place to have more beer on tap after reviewing their website but I was able to quench my thirst on James Boags Draught whilst watching Anthony Mundine beat the crap out of some American in the ring in Las Vegas. They also have a "Who Wants To Be A Millionare" machine. I haven't seen one of these since I was at the Tuxtoth Hotel in Glebe. If you answer the 15 questions you can win $20, so we played that for a while. Perhaps it was the vast amount of beer consumed but we could never get to the last question. Although I didn't eat there, I agree with the 78% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon and like this place.

Station Hotel
Link to review
96 Greville Street  Prahran VIC 3181
(03) 9810 0072
www.stationhotel.com.au
My Rating: 10/20
Service: 1/5 (bar service)
Ambiance: 2.5/5
Quality: 2.5/5
Value For Money: 3.5/5
Comment: The usually broadcast pay per view sport


Twitter: @epicurean3006
e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com
web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com


At the time I made this post, 79% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon liked this place.

I don't care if Monday's blue...

One of the best kept secrets in Melbourne, well at least from I can tell because of the attendance, is the $7 cinema ticket night at the Kino Palace cinema on Collins Street. For ages this cinema was Kino Dendy but it changed hands in the recent past it would seem.

The first voucher from my Entertainment Book was ripped out before the wander to the cinema. In reality it is a rather anti-epicurean event, but I attended Maccas with the epicurean emo and received a free frozen coke after purchasing one. That is a savings of $3.25.

So a couple of frozen cokes and a tickets to see Prometheus cost a modest $17.25. It isn't bad for a night out for two in the Melbourne CBD however when it is put in perspective, which can ultimately be applied to fine dining (give me the benefit of the doubt here) is that you must mingle with the public, and the public are everywhere. There was a gentleman in the cinema that sounded like Black Caviar 300m from the post at Royal Ascot when he breathed from three rows back. People came in after the movie started and then looked like kangaroos when presented with the age old problem of where to sit. Fortunately Kino Palace does not allocate seating which is a plus. I probably added to the annoyance and discomfort of my fellow patrons as I am still in the final stages of getting rid of the flu so I coughed on occasion. Can you really have a relaxing time when in such close proximity to the public?

Punters attempted to have a relaxing time at Coda not long back however the restaurant was soon under attack by the happy couple that decided to play the old age trick of walking into a restaurant and asking if a table for two can be sourced. When the restaurant responds in the affirmative, one of the members of the party goes outside and pushes a pram in the size of a Volkswagen Golf. You may have read the recent press that the restaurant refused them service for this outrageous ploy. I am sure the diners were appreciative that they did not have to shout about how much they hate the carbon tax and the federal government over the noise of the screaming child. I would encourage everyone to support Coda and the interesting article can be found here.

After the cinematic experience and being somewhat disappointed by Prometheus, we found ourselves at the Transport Bar in Federation Square after wandering past Coda and the packed Chin Chin. I was impressed that the Transport Bar had Coopers Red on tap as that is always a favourite and also a cauldron of muddled cider on offer. A pint of the former and a serve of the latter totalled $18.50 was ordered and enjoyed in a relaxed environment.

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