Claypots Seafood & Wine St Kilda - Space Oddity

There are still a few places around Melbourne that when I admit that I haven't visited after living here for over a year currently actually draws a gasp from the questioner. One of the most recommended places is Claypots Seafood & Wine on Barkly Street in St Kilda that I admit that I haven't visited until recently. More than a handful of people have told me to dine at this place and to put the Chilli Crabs high on my must-do list. Far be it for me not to accept a recommendation.

This is a strange place. As the entrance to the dining area is through a wine room, the first time we entered the space, there was nobody in attendance of the bar area and not a customer in sight. I thought it was strange that the front door was open but nobody was home so not wanting to be accused of anything, we left and went to Lau's Family Kitchen, which turned out to be a great experience as an aside. The second time that we attempted a visit to Claypots, we entered the wine bar area once again however there was a lady behind the bar this time. She looked at us incredulously and after inquiring about eating, she took us through the door leading to the dining room cautiously as I dawdled to look at the piano and notice a sign on the wall saying that an Elvis impersonator would be performing there at some point. I stopped to admire the fresh fish in the glass case in the dining room before sitting. An impressive selection of fish was on ice on display however the front of house seemed like she was on another planet so I refrained from asking questions about the curious things that I had just observed.

After taking a table and being provided a bottle of tap water, we were advised that the menu was on the wall along with some wines that were added as graffiti as a bit of an afterthought to the formal wine list that was presented that had nothing too out of the ordinary articulated from within its pages. As the Chilli Crabs ($55) came highly recommended, an order was placed for one serve of the crustaceans and also four Garlic Tiger Prawns ($10/each) which seemed like a reasonable amount of food for two people to share.

I went exploring and found an outside area where you can smoke however for half of the year I wouldn't want to be stuck out there eating considering the cold inclement weather. Sitting near the door that accesses this garden of sorts would also be an inconvenience for those that do not want to be bothered by second hand smoke.

After returning to the small table, the prawns were served in a thick metal bowl and were bathing in a sizzling garlic sauce. The oil and garlic hot bath made for a great dipping liquid for the hot fresh bread that was provided. We began the task of shelling the mighty beasts and removing the black intestinal tract. Although it doesn't hurt to eat this, I would prefer not to and the exposed flesh looks much better without it. Ultimately the prawn meat, the garlic bath and the bread combined to make a great starter. I am not a huge fan for working for my food and rarely will get prawns that require me to remove their shell manually but the effort was worth it in this case.

When the crabs appeared on a large long dish, stacked up on a bed of rice, with approximately twenty mussels, I was surprised and uttered blasphemy. The stack of seafood looked great however as the discard bowl, crab cracker, finger bowl and stack of serviettes appeared, we ran out of room on the table. We could have moved to a larger table at this point but it just seemed easier to get on with it.

As you can expect, when you start fiddling with the crab, it is a messy exercise. I wouldn't recommend visiting this restaurant on a date or if you need to do business as getting the crab meat from the shell is not a simple or clean task. After we each excused one another's bad manners, we employed every trick in the book to extract the beautiful crab meat using hands, utensils and frequently licking our fingers like hounds lap up food in a bowl. There was no point in being meek or timid as recovering the crab meat proves fun yet tedious and the product was well worth it. The mussels were obviously fresh when they were cooked and served with both the beard removed and the meat slightly exposed from the gasping shell. I really liked the mussels and were some of the best that I have had.

The dining room has some interesting artwork on the wall. One painting was a variation of an image that I studied in University. A giant squid with a naked woman along with some other oddities were used as decorations. Besides the large off-white painting canvass which was bare besides for the name of the genius who produced it, who's name was scribbled in the corner, the circuit breaker box was exposed on the dining room wall. The chef even appeared at one point to reset a circuit as he seemingly lost power somewhere that was near and dear to him.

What was a standout was the seafood however the other bizarre aspects like service and the ambiance made for an "interesting" experience. Specialising is one thing however when you are left talking about weird aspects of the service and fit-out it leaves amusing memories for all of the wrong reasons.

Claypots Seafood & Wine

213 Barkly Street, St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 9534 1282

no web site

My Rating: 13.5/20

Service: 3/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 4.5/5

Value For Money: 3/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Claypots Food & Wine at St Kilda.

Gazi Restaurant - Calombaris Rising Further

George Calombaris has been busy shaking up his restaurant empire. His flagship restaurant, The Press Club, is closed for renovations and its little sister, which was more than just a bar, Little Press has been transformed. A metamorphosis of sorts has been completed in the old Little Press dining space and Gazi Restaurant was born as of yesterday. Even the stately Press Club plaque affixed to the cold stone wall on the exterior of 2 Exhibition Street has evolved now prominently displaying Gazi's name, transposed on top of its siblings.

At times when you enter a sushi bar, the staff shout their greetings. This is an act that no longer surprises. When this happened as we entered Gazi and no less than ten members of the team welcomed us, gave salutations in Greek and provided a sense of general enthusiasm and utter excitement that I haven't seen in a restaurant in quite some time I was a bit taken aback. In fact the energy exuded by the staff instantly put us both in a happy and excited mood ourselves and this was quite difficult considering that we were both experiencing the after effects of excessive alcohol consumption from the previous night so until the finality of the many warm greetings, mustering energy to be excited was difficult but the team and ambiance quickly sorted out those general feelings of malaise.

With an abundance of clay pots hanging from the ceiling, I was pleased that the new quirky blue plates depicting an evil eye, known as μάτι (mati), which is a charm of sorts that according to superstition and dates back to 6 BC in Greece, wards off bad luck. I was pleased the eye was watching over me as I certainly did not want one of those pots falling on my head. Given the popularity of both the restaurant on the day of its launch and the fact that George's star continues to shine from his pedigree of being The Age Young Chef of the Year from 2008 along with hosting duties on MasterChef, I do not suppose that much bad luck will befall this new buzzing establishment. Even when a guest dropped a glass on a the floor during service, it simply bounced off the ground and remained intact so the place must be charmed. The mati was watching.

A thoughtful Greek "street food" menu that certainly requires a fair amount of consideration, especially by patrons such as myself that have not classically been the biggest enthusiasts of Greek fare in the past was presented. Once again I spotted the mati looking at me on page 1, not far away from the list of dips and the Hellenic "dirty food" and as superstition stated, effectively warded off the envy that I had for others dining around me so after the loquacious staff introduced the menu and gave a very detailed breakdown of everything with a smile, we decided that the ten dish sharing menu ($69 p/p) aptly called "Doing it Greek Style" would give the best representation of what was available as it was far too hard to chose. This is a nondescript degustation of sorts so you are left to put your trust in the kitchen and hope that the mati is looking your way. Getting into the mood further, we ordered Mythos beer ($9.00) from the second largest Greek brewery (which is also available at Dan Murphy's) which is a slightly sweet lager that I found appropriate to match with the food that would quickly appear.

Two dips with accompanying soft bread were provided to tide us over until the first two and only dishes from the "Hellenic Dirty Food" menu arrived, the Salmon Tzataki a la Grecque and the Saganaki Kumquat Mustard Glyko. The Greek sauce livened up the fish that on its own would have been boring and it was a light way to ease into the menu. I was trying to keep perspective and attempt to see what Calombaris was attempting to showcase with this dish and uncover the story that it was trying to tell, instead of simply comparing it to other dishes that I have had. The Saganaki, which is a fried melted cheese appetizer was highlighted by the kumquat - a sweet but sour citrus flavour that really brought out the taste of the cheese. I really enjoyed this cheese appetizer and I am sullen that I didn't bother inquiring as to what type of cheese it was as I want to procure some. Fortunately the restaurant remains very active on Twitter so I will have to ask them later. (Update: George Calombaris sent a tweet and advised that the cheese used in the awesome Saganaki is in fact "Kefalograviera" which is a mix of cow and sheep milk. You can buy it from Elco foods or Bills Farm.)

The kitchen wasted no time in moving into the serving of the King Dory, sourced locally from Portland, Victoria, which was fresh from the wood fired grill. I really liked this fish, the way it looked and ultimately the taste as it easily fell apart when prodded with my fork. The taste of the grill was an added bonus and when combined with some additional dips and bread, was one of the highlights of this tasting menu for me. A salad was also presented that were leaves that held very thinly sliced radishes, Santorini capers and lentils. This was another surprise hit proving that you can not judge a book by its cover. What looks unremarkable is filled with flavour. I especially liked the use of the healthy serve of lentils but also the capers from the volcanic island of Santorini was indeed a winner.  

Besides a wood fired grill, the kitchen is fitted with a wood fired spit. We were both surprised and thinking of our already bulging stomachs when the Chicken was presented next. This chicken had an amazing crispy skin and remarkably not a very salty taste. This was yet another dish that perplexed me in a playful way as this too I decided that I wanted to try to re-create at home however I fear that I would burn my unit down in the process. Having previously reset my expectations to what I would think Greek "street food" should be, I suspect this is it. Along with the chicken, the white beans and the tirokafteri added a hint of additional flavour but I just could not get over the skin of this chicken. Yet another highlight of this degustation which I was pleased that I decided to order as the kitchen was not disappointing. In between having more bottles of beer appear and also a bowl of Tiganites potato chips with feta, the table became crowded with food and almost foreboding. You will certainly not go hungry in this restaurant.

The desserts were next. A Pavlova with ruby red grapefruit curd and cream highlighted by the use of mastic - dried pieces of sap from a tree. This is one of my dessert highlights for the year and regular readers of this blog know that I am not big into desserts. All of the flavours just worked well together and the use of the mastic was bold and brilliant. Loukomathes, deep fried small donuts accompanied the pavlova, and once spruced up with the sugar that was provided in a small bowl made for a sweet end to a very large meal.

After having spent upwards to eight hours enjoying degustation menus in the past elsewhere, I was impressed that the restaurant was able to accommodate so many dishes in such a constrained amount of time as my dining partner had to get back to Sydney on an afternoon flight to show off the photo that he got taken with George, just to make his missus upset. Although I wanted an Ouzo to assist in digesting this huge meal and be left to rub my stomach like a pregnant woman would, I was left to finish my beer and exit past the phalanx of happy faces of the staff which were all still exuding energy and a sense of true enthusiasm. Ten courses for $69 dollars is great value for money considering the amount of good and honest food that you receive and is probably one of the better offers going in Melbourne at the moment. I want to return when I really have more time to enjoy some of the cocktails which looked quite intriguing on paper but also be able to spend the time at the end of the meal to digest it and take in the ambiance however for now I am left with fond memories of a degustation that works well, great service, a buzzing atmosphere and an introduction to Greek "street food" which I suspect will become a prolonged love affair.

Gazi Restaurant

2 Exhibition Street, Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9207 7444

http://www.gazirestaurant.com.au

My Rating: 16.25/20

Service: 4/5

Ambiance: 3.75/5

Quality: 3.75/5

Value For Money: 4.75/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 90% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Gazi however there is only a small sample of votes, so I expect this to fluctuate wildly.

Nine Elephants Docklands - Ring of Fire

Sometimes my hedonistic tendencies cross into sheer and utter stupidity and like a child playing with fire, when I am asked "how spicy do you want that?" I can never resist proclaiming I can take any amount of spice that you can offer. Like my love affair with sake (the Japanese alcoholic drink, not the restaurant) large amounts of spice always seem like a good idea at the time, however I tend to suffer later. After ordering a plethora of food at Nine Elephants, the question of spice was asked and answered with my usual affirmation. Despite the consequences the next morning, the taste was worth it.

The Drunken Chicken ($7.50) was the first to arrive after placing an ambitious order for two people. Three small drumsticks that did not display any taste of alcohol however there was a faint taste of ginger. The vegetarian-friendly Chive Dumplings ($9.50) was the next course of sorts. A delicate rice pastry that contained chives, herbs and a gentle amount of spice that encouraged me to start drinking Singha beer ($6.50) at a faster rate despite knowing that it would not eradicate the burning sensation in my mouth. Four Spring Rolls ($6.50) accompanied a serving of Roti Bread ($4.00) and despite being predictable in taste, assisted in differentiating the flavours inherent in the dumplings and offset the spice a bit.

Leaving the land of entrees and entering the valley of mains was the difference between night and day. Khao Ka Nah Mooh Grob ($15) included stir-fried pork belly with Chinese broccoli, minced chilli and garlic along with the requisite jasmine rice. The vegetables were fresh and crisp and the pork belly was fatty. The levels of spice were extreme and I was left taking an intermission, which almost left me sleeping on the floor holding my bottle of beer whilst I waited for the sting and raging inferno to die down in my mouth. This is when I knew - absolutely knew - that I would be suffering the next morning, but I didn't care. I had liquid courage and some damn good food. Beside the pork belly, we ordered a Gang Dang ($13.50), another vegetarian option that is incidentally also gluten-free, which is a simple beef red curry which left my mouth and tongue tingling, my nose running and required yet another Singha to artificially cool the burn. Torturing my already abused body paid dividends as in the end, we both wanted spicy Thai food and we got what we wanted.

Located on Village Street near the Platform 28 Bar and Etihad Stadium, the restaurant can easily be overlooked because of the awkward street frontage. The room itself holds about forty people and has what seems to be a dispatch box on an elevated floor. You are almost left to wonder if Peter Slipper was going to come out of the toilet and take his place in the box to direct proceedings. Service as a whole was kind and attentive and in general helped make for a relaxed experience. With the construction in the area, the corporate types and of course Etihad stadium, a trip to this restaurant should be planned so that you are not inconvenienced by the large lunch crowds, traffic, closed roads or masses of people. Some proper planning though will lead to an enjoyable experience at what is certainly a shining star in the relatively dull Docklands precinct.

Nine Elephants

67 Village Street, Docklands VIC 3008
(03) 9670 9909

http://www.nineelephants.com.au

My Rating: 13/20

Service: 3.25/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3.25/5

Value For Money: 3.5/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Nine Elephants.

Lau's Family Kitchen - Mao Zedong Weeps

Much like a penguin, I can get easily distracted by shiny things so when I am in the area of the Prince complex on Acland Street, it is rather hard to resist the siren's call and either end up eating and drinking at either Circa, Acland Street Cantina or the Prince of Wales itself. Knowing that Chef Paul Wilson doesn't look much like a beautiful siren even on the best of days, with courage and a fair amount of intestinal fortitude, I managed to resist my carnal desire for mole and tacos and make my way just metres away up Acland Street to Lau's Family Kitchen which is often overlooked because of its location off of the colourful Fitzroy Street and of course away from the skagboys.

Being greeted at the door, you would never think that this restaurant specialises in Chinese fare or that its pedigree is from the eponymous Flower Drum on Market Lane. There are no cats waving at you, Chairman Mao's face is not staring at you and most surprising, the colour red can not be found - anywhere. This is a cozy small place far removed from what you would expect in Chinatown, which is not only refreshing but it set up so that the customer is comfortable. There is a decent amount of space between tables which are not arranged like a phalanx of soldiers, but are interchanged which took some foresight.

Water was quickly poured whilst the menu was read. The wine selections are an addendum of sorts to the proper food menu which was nice. After reading War and Peace at Rococo in the recent past, I wasn't prepared for Crime and Punishment so what was on offer was not only clear and concise but ultimately easy to interpret and was impressive.

We started with a bottle of 2012 Oceans Eight Pinot Gris, which was an excellent pair with the special crispy chicken wontons ($13.80) that started proceedings. Oddly we agreed that all of the courses articulated on the front page of the menu, the "Specials" page, needed to be sampled and we ended up making short work of everything on offer. The six crispy wontons were excellent. It isn't too often that you have wontons that are intentionally crisp however when bathed in the vegetable sauce and finished off by the residual sugars that were clearly evident in the wine, made for a great way to start.

Quail for me is something that I love to hate, mainly because so many places stuff it up. This wasn't the case at Lau's as the follow-up to the crispy wontons was the breast and thighs of the small ugly bird ($13) dressed simply with salt and pepper. Perfectly cooked and thoughtfully presented where you were able to enjoy the meat and once again, paired very well with the Oceans Eight.

Although my dining partner did not feel as adventurous, after having a chat about Flower Drum and the politics of that particular restaurant no longer serving shark fin soup, I was in the mood for the special "Seafood Soup" ($15) which proved to be full of flavour and considering the cool day was very appropriate. This seafood consommé was not only rich, but it effectively distracted me from the prizes found inside this pool of wonder - a big meaty prawn, a mussel and a scallop. None of the seafood was overcooked and all the offerings were tender, complimenting the soup itself instead of the other way around. When I finished this, I was left wanting more.

Yet another special, the duck in honey and lemon sauce ($24) appeared whilst I was still eating my soup. There was plenty of room on the table so this was not a big deal and once the bowl was vacated, I quickly had chopsticks in hand and was sampling the battered duck breast. As this was simply the breast, you were not left with any cartilage to contend with and the sweet sauce just proved once again to be an excellent match for the wine, which was fully consumed during this course. The duck however remained a standout mainly because it was not only simply presented but because of the overall taste after thoughtful preparation and the inclusion of the complementary honey and lemon sauce.

Although we originally intended to order two mains so that we didn't have to share any of the duck leg with sour plums ($34) service suggested that we share it. Being an only child I do not like to share, but the advice proved worthwhile as a fair amount of duck was served for this main. The sour plums once again complemented the duck and it was a completely different taste compared to what was enjoyed previously with the honey and lemon sauce. The duck leg was poached for two hours and served with steamed rice and was enjoyed with a Beefeater gin and tonic ($12) which turned into a three-drink love affair as I sat back and enjoyed the ambiance.

I liked everything about Lau's Family Kitchen. The service remained attentive, helpful and amused by our dining style. At times I forgot that I was within spitting distance of the Prince of Wales complex and the madness of Fitzroy Street so the restaurant did its job well - very well in fact of transporting us to another place, where the only thing missing was a embrace from Gilbert Lau.

Lau's Family Kitchen

4 Acland St., St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 8598 9880

http://www.lausfamilykitchen.com.au

My Rating: 15.75/20

Service: 4/5

Ambiance: 4/5

Quality: 4/5

Value For Money: 3.75/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 88% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Lau's Family Kitchen.

Rococo - People Are Strange When You Are A Stranger

My fascination with all things St Kilda continues, which is evident with a recent trip to Rococo on Acland Street. Known for its Italian fare with a sort of specialty with pizza, we managed to hold back our curiosity for it mostly because of a recent trip to Innocent Bystander winery where perhaps one of the best pizzas I have ever had was enjoyed on the deck. I assumed that anything pizza related would have disappointed after the aforementioned experience and considering the absolute volume of the Italian-themed menu, there were many other items to choose from.

Despite outside seating being available, considering the skagboys that were skulking about, and of course the weather that was intermittently pleasant at times, we decided to take refuge inside and the front of house was happy to seat us in the middle of the restaurant. A large menu of food and an equally large list of wine was presented for review and I had the equivalent of a  university course of reading material to digest and ultimately be quizzed on.

After recent trips to not only the Barossa but also the Hunter Valley wine regions, I was not too interested in ordering a bottle of wine. This may sound odd because of the nature of this blog and my dining and drinking habits but after reviewing the wine list, I was a bit put off as nothing was very special. I quickly spotted bottles of wine that I had previously purchased at the cellar door and was reminded of the markup and despite it being a comprehensive list, I just wasn't excited. Water was fine as my only source of hydration for a change, which was quickly delivered to the table without being asked.

Wanting a bit of variety, we decided to start with antipasti, which you can choose five from the menu for $30 (or other quantities with proportionally higher prices) which seemed liked the right thing to do because of the plethora of choices. Prose at the top of the menu suggests that diners may want to consider ordering antipasti during the busy times as there may be a delay in your main offerings. At this point in time, the restaurant was rather dead and we ordered antipasti because it seemed like good value for money instead of a way to tide us over.

Both the Calabrese - a spicy pork salami with chilli, cayenne pepper and paprika along with Siciliano - a mild pork salami with hints of garlic, wine and pepper were really nice meats and when added to garlic and herb bread with melted mozarella ($8.50) and a sliver of Mozzarella di Bufala - cheese from Campania, Italy, made for a great merging of flavours and was really nice. Both the meats and the cheese are considered anitpasti options, and I was pleased with these three choices. Denominazione di Origine Protetta (DOP) Prosciutto San Daniele was the final compliment of meat and it was equally good. The final dish was a grilled prawn and calamari skewer with lemon, chilli, garic, breadcrumbs with a Romesco sauce - which should be a nut and red pepper-based sauce from the area around Catalonia, Spain. The sauce was just flat and was devoid of flavour. The calamari was dry and it just wasn't nice.

Being distracted by other patrons speaking on their phones in the restaurant and pretending to be important, it gave me the opportunity to spy on what other people were ordering. Mains of pasta were popular and the servings were absolutely enormous. Not really being in the mood for a large main and rather annoyed by the diners around us, we decided to pull up stumps. Despite asking for the bill and waiting a good ten minutes, we decided not to wait and just pay at the kiosk near the door which was also managing the takeaway coffee requirements of the occasional diners.

Despite one of the servers being very switched on and taking our order (detailed above) without finding the need to write it down and consult on the menu as a whole, service was rather lax and only engaging when multiple personalities pressured us to order a main. One of my pet peeves is being hassled to order mains and having pleasant conversation interrupted, especially when you are still holding the menu. Perhaps because of the harassment and the rude diners around us, we were put off. Perhaps it was the very awkward soundtrack that they had playing. At times it was relaxing dining music, almost what you would find playing in a lift, other times it was hip hop intermixed with classic party tunes. All very strange but it fits into the whole theme associated with Acland Street - quirky and different, I suppose.

Rococo

89/91 Acland St  St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 9525 3232

http://www.rococo.net.au

My Rating: 12/20

Service: 3/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3/5

Value For Money: 3/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 85% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Rococo.

Bluecorn Mexican, St Kilda - Big Me

Being in the mood for Mexican-inspired fare since Cinco de Mayo celebrations were just around the corner, I found myself meeting a mate at Bluecorn Mexican Restaurant just off Acland Street in St Kilda. As I had some spare time before this long lunch was planned, I walked to the venue from Southbank via Beacon Cove and Beaconfield Parade, so by the time I fronted up, I not only brought my weary body but a raging thirst and appetite.

The first thing that I noticed at this place was a fair amount of food abandoned on vacant tables which sounded warning bells in my head. Service was happy to seat us and clean up a table with some sort of chemical in front of us so it effectively smelled like the back room of the dry cleaner. Perusing the blackboard specials and also drinks menu did settle me down a bit and the fatigue from the 10km stroll started to set in. We ordered a litre of the Bluecorn Punch, which was a concoction of vanilla tequila, midori, (fresh) strawberries, pineapple and soda ($24.50). This drink had a bit of a kick and provided the needed refreshment and courage that I needed to order one of the specials - a chorizo and scallop taco with chipotle salsa ($14) which honestly scared me. The "taco" wasn't presented as a traditional taco which you can pick up and eat, but more like a tostada, where so much product was placed on top of the fried dark corn tortilla that you had to eat 50% of the fillings off of it before you had any chance of picking it up. When I finally got the "taco" into a manageable state, I picked it up but a fair amount of juice from the scallops and chorizo started running off and onto my plate. This was a messy dish and obviously not meant to be finger food. The substantial amount of product made for a hefty salad-esque start though. The chorizo was fine, as were the scallops however I got the feeling that these two elements were paired for dramatic effect and not because they taste good together.

Wanting to try more flavours with the litre of beverage, I ordered the "sizzling 'chile' chicken enchilada with guacamole and sauce" ($28) and wondered how a simple enchilada could cost so much. In fact, this is the first time since I started writing this blog that I mused that everything was just so expensive. When this dish was presented I understood why it cost so much, it was massive amount of food. Like the taco, which was really a tostada, this enchilada was not presented like an enchilada, but a burrito, with red sauce around it. I cut into this burrito of sorts and started eating the chicken filling, beans and rice and found it tasty at first but after the twentieth taste, I started to get bored. This is a vexed problem with the restaurant that I found. Massive amounts of food are served with an equally high price tag. It is nearly impossible to enjoy any sort of variety because of the sheer volume of food associated with each dish so you are constrained to one or two dishes at most.

My dining companion ordered the Chicken fajitas ($30.50) and also was not able to finish the dish. When we finished the alcoholic punch we were unable to get the attention of service to get a refill so we decided to pull up stumps and waddle out with full stomachs and much poorer for the pleasure. The one thing that annoyed me is that along with the high prices, when you pay with a credit card, regardless of type, you will incur a 2% surcharge. After spending $97 on three dishes and a litre of beverage, I wasn't too pleased about this.

We understood why so much food was abandoned on the table by other patrons. It isn't because it was bad per se, but because of the amount that you are provided. I really hope at some point that this restaurant decides to cut the portion sizes by half, along with the prices so customers can enjoy more of this Tex-Mex fare with a California twist but until then, I will find other places to placate my need for the fare.

Bluecorn Mexican Restaurant

205 Barkly Street, St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 9534 5996

http://www.bluecorn.com.au

My Rating: 10.75/20

Service: 2.75/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3/5

Value For Money: 2/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 83% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Bluecorn.

Seddon Deadly Sins - Gluttony and Envy

On a recent trip out west, before attempting to experience a river cruise up the Maribyrnong River, I stopped at Seddon Deadly Sins in the proud suburb of Seddon (funny that) for the second time in my life.

Having previously enjoyed breakfast at this lively and quirky cafe, I thought it would be apt to call in for a quick lunch. Their breakfast offerings are named after the mortal sins as observed by Christians and although I really don't think that the breakfasts at this cafe will destroy the life of grace and charity within a person, the taste and indulgence of house-made flourless chilli corn loaf, served with crispy bacon (that is actually crispy), guacamole and spicy baked beans ($16.50) would lead to Sloth, which is the mortal sin this dish is named after. Like the green eggs and ham ($14.50) being named after Envy and the Spanish eggs, cooked in the house made salsa with olives, onions, parmesan, chorizo and sourdough toast ($15) named after Wrath, the cafe certainly plays on the theme well and also exercises the play on words that incorporates the suburb name into the fun.

Having experienced the Sloth breakfast offering previously which impressed me with its crispy bacon with service that exhibited absolutely no wrathful qualities, we decided on the blackboard lunch specials for the follow-up visit. I opted for the scotch filet on Turkish bread ($16.50) which was cooked fresh to order. The long black that was quickly delivered was the strongest cup of coffee that I have enjoyed in years. In fact it took about four hours to come down from the caffeine hit. I was buzzing. A damn good cup off coffee - and hot. The scotch steak was substantial and there was no fat. I was grateful that only piece of Turkish bread came with this deal as it proved to be a substantial dish.

What impressed me is how friendly service is. From the moment that you enter, you are greeted with a smile and a sense of welcoming. It wasn't fake and your mood changes after having a quick chat and deciding to eat inside, out in the courtyard or even on the street. The cafe is busy with people challenging them for takeaway beverages and even dessert however service remained consistent and I said it before and I will say it again, friendly.

I really like Seddon Deadly Sins and wish that it was more convenient for me to visit as I would return at a greater frequency if I could easily walk there. Fortunately for those in Seddon and Footscray, residents have this great cafe where I am just left to be envious.

Seddon Deadly Sins

148 Victoria St., Seddon VIC 3011
(03) 9689 3092

no web site

My Rating: n/a

Service: n/a

Ambiance: n/a

Quality: n/a

Value For Money: n/a

Open for breakfast and lunch Tues - Sun




Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Seddon Deadly Sins.

Las Chicas, Balaclava - Not Another Mexican Place (seriously...)

Usually the only excuse that I have to visit Balaclava, which is on the Sandringham line, a suburb that borders St Kilda is to either visit my accountant, purchase kosher food, practice conversational Hebrew (I know five words at best) or exit the station and immediately walk to the Local Taphouse. In this instance it was suggested that we visit Las Chicas on Carlisle Street to which I exclaimed "oh come on, I have had so much Mexican fare in the last few weeks, I need a break from it!" which startled the other party. After I carried on like a pork chop about Mexican fare, the forthcoming Cinco de Mayo celebrations and where I would be spending that festive day, the bored party advised me that Las Chicas was not a Mexican restaurant per se and is more of a cafe that has a few breakfast dishes that have Mexican influences, but that is the extent of it.

About the time that my face faded from red to white, we arrived at the cafe. Located near the train station, the front windows were wide open exposing the tables inside to the cool elements of the day. There are a few long tables out on the street which were being used fully by diners and coffee sippers. Prams were parked. The place was a hive of activity.

We were greeted and seated. Coffee was ordered. Menus were reviewed. The cafe does indeed have an expansive breakfast list and I did see a breakfast burrito detailed, but there was nothing else which had a Mexican influence. I ordered a SLAB ($14) which is a bacon, lettuce and avacado sandwich which utilised some very large but thin pieces of turkish bread. My bemused companion ordered the roast beef sandwich ($15) and said that the highlight was the beetroot that complimented the tender beef. For me, a coriander-based salsa livened up my healthy choice and despite the bacon being very soft (I prefer it crispy which is hard to come by) the sandwich was great and filled me up. The long black ($3.50) was a bit weak and didn't do much for me sadly. Service was pleasant and chatty and made for a relaxing pit stop before conducting boring business elsewhere.

Las Chicas

203 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, VIC 3183
(03) 9531 3699

http://www.laschicas.com.au

My Rating: n/a/20

Service: n/a

Ambiance: n/a

Quality: n/a

Value For Money: n/a

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 82% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Las Chicas.

BangPop - Bangkok mmmbop

Even though I did not see a 90's boyband performing, let alone Ed Sheeran propping up the lego-themed bar which remains as a curiousity from the eateries former incarnation, Sharing House, one could expect a pop identity serenading hungry patron's at South Wharf's newest incarnation, BangPop on the South Wharf Promenade.

Tom Waterhouse likes to think he knows what punters want. The team behind BangPop actually know what we want which is evident by the menu that pushes your senses and reaffirms my belief that dining out is all about new experiences. A relaxed party-like atmosphere where the patron is taken care of with a playful amount of cheekiness and from what I noticed an empathetic floorstaff that realise that most people that dine at BangPop would not be able to comfortably be able to handle the spice and associated heat of the dishes and sauces. For me, I can never get enough fire and have previously dared the kitchen both here and at unrelated kitchens to "prepare it like you would in (insert hometown) and not how the white man wants to eat it!" which is usually far too tame and boring. Any chest hair that I have is the result of these bold proclamations after the kitchen delivers an authentic - tasty and very spicy dishes that in turn makes me pause, gulp large amounts of Singha beer ($7) knowing it will not placate the god of fire but the ancient art of edging, where the process of eating the street food mirrors an intimate act where you nearly orgasm but refrain, only to repeat the process over and over again until you can't take it any longer and request the bill. Fortunately serviettes are provided.

My first adventure at BangPop was inside at a communal table. The restaurant had just announced a $15 lunch deal which included a "small plate" of either chicken or pork respectively (I tried both of these dishes and they were equally good) and a can of beer however not just being satisfied with this reasonable sample of foodstuff, we also ordered the Kor Moo Yang (pork neck - $11.90) and Sua Rang Hi (grilled beef - $12.90) to compliment the very reasonable and spicy specials. The kitchen had me hooked with the neck and an absolutely fiery and wonderful nam jim saap sauce with very pronounced flavours of coriander, chillies, garlic and a hint of sugar. The sauces and the associated condiments that are provided not only add flavour but add a sense of James Bond-esque intrigue to this self-proclaimed street food which should not be confused with cheap or being plebeian, but is full of flavour where it is just hard to stop gorging.

On my enthusiastic return, it was a sunny and mild yet windy day in Melbourne so assuming it could be the last day where you are not required to wear a jumper for absolute comfort, we made the executive decision to sit outside and watch the Yarra river and rubbish flow past along with the confused tourists migrating from the DFO. Service remained attentive to our needs for seemingly unlimited amounts of Singha and after a repeat performance of the pork neck, we decided it was only proper to run the full gamut of the menu and enjoyed the Tod Mun Pla - Barramundi and red curry paste (fish)cakes with yet another bold sauce, this time a nam prik pla-grop, a chilli fish sauce of sorts that even had a few chilli seeds in it for good measure. This appealed to my desire to wake up with a case of ring of fire and tasted so good going down the old gullet after bathing the fish in this authentic pool of beauty.

Kai Chae Mae Pla Tod (Chicken Ribs - $12.90) followed from the "small plates" menu and despite appearing to be a meager portion of dry meat found its natural match with the nam-jim talay accompaniment. A green chilli sauce that was both affronting to my nasal passage because of the pepper in a good way, and after eliciting a sneeze, I knew that I found what I could eat daily. The nose "knows' as they say. Of all the starters, the Sai Krok Issan (Pork Sausages - $10.90) were the most tame however the general populous would find the levels of chilli a bit confronting even though it is neutralised by the cabbage, which is a natural remedy to the tingling palate - a bit like a vampire is a to a werewolf, or so it goes supposedly.

Not able to resist the "larger plates" we had to see what the Kang Daeng Phed (Duck Leg Red Curry - $22.90) would taste like. It is no secret that I like to prepare my own duck at home and evolving my personal recipe and appreciation is a bit of an unnatural and ridiculous hobby so I remain critical of how third parties treat the eponymous mallard. BangPop again delivers. The duck is moist and when combined with a handsome amount of chilli, but this time it is neutralised by roast coconut, yet another palate savior, is a winner.

I made the mistake of having the duck (and more Singha) before tasting the Gaeng Lueng Tai - the poached "market fish" and in this instance was skirt, a fatty fish that happily absorbed the pla grop that had a pronounced taste of lime and sugar. It should have been consumed before the duck however the amount of Singha that I consumed affected my judgement and I only have myself to blame. Still this yellow curry was quite good and although not noticeably "hotter" compared to the red curry, still was very tasty.

The service staff remained not only attentive but humourous throughout our ad-hoc experience where we hoped to gorge ourselves in the afternoon sun like snakes and enjoy as much "authentic" Thai street food that we could possibly muster. Service remained consistent and cheerful on both visits and the virtual isolation of eating outside did not impact service levels or the sense of enthusiasm. I found the communal dining inside to be fun and associated it with a positive and vibrant atmosphere. I like to think that I am a better man for experiencing BangPop and it isn't too often that I act like a fiend and require returning to a place so quickly just to get more bold tastes which teased not only my palate but my libido. If you are looking for a reason to visit the South Wharf precinct you now have an excuse despite being spoiled for options in general. BangPop is now my new favourite in the somewhat maligned area.

BangPop

35 South Wharf Prom., South Wharf VIC 3006
(03) 9245 9800

http://www.bangpop.com.au

My Rating: 14.5/20

Service: 3.5/5

Ambiance: 3.5/5

Quality: 3.75/5

Value For Money: 3.75/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 82% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like BangPop.

Bistro Vue - Return from Exile

For me when I was just a lowly tourist and visiting Melbourne with some sort of frequency, it was my opinion that if I was going to dine at a Shannon Bennett property, it had to be Vue de Monde. It was as simple as that. On a few occasions in years gone past mainly because of lack of planning and the short notice that I gave to the restaurant, I ended up visiting Bistro Vue at Normanby Chambers on Little Collins Street, which is actually the old site for Vue de Monde before the restaurant moved to the top floor of the Rialto Tower.

With a fit-out that resembles what you would expect to be suitable for the House of Bourbon where the only thing missing is the Sun King sitting at one of the many large chairs with soft red upholstery where it could be confused that the Grand Dauphin takes up residence in a circular corner booth looking out over the third estate, this bistro, for the lack of a better term, not only possesses a simple charm but transports you back to a bygone era on a back street of Paris where the only characters missing are the multiple Jacques drinking DeFarge wine at the long and impressive bar made out of zinc.

When we called into the restaurant which tricks you by being named a bistro so that they can over-deliver and thoroughly impress as most diners would not hold a bistro up to the same standard as a restaurant - case in point: expectations would be higher should you dine at the contemporary Vue de Monde versus the traditional Bistro Vue. Fortunately the Grand Dauphin was holding court elsewhere and we were kindly offered the corner round table. Service was very accommodating and the professional yet chipper wine steward, Marcus, was able to offer us matching wine with the l'humeur du chef ($110/each) - chef's choice, or degustation menu, which proved to be exciting in its own right.

Whilst enjoying a gin and tonic (sadly they did not have West Wins gin however the Bombay Sapphire flowed) the kitchen prepared a simple but fitting amuse bouche to start - rusty wire oysters, essentially the best oysters of the day ultimately paired with a non vintage Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin "Brut", Champagne. Although this generic vintage is highly available and I have a few bottles at home waiting to pop, it was a fitting match to enjoy the oysters and lemon with.

A very apt and quick transition to the first proper course, citrus cured mackerel was amazing. The avocado and pickled onion that complemented the dish, not only had a Picasso-like presentation, the fish possessed so much flavour that the dish nearly overwhelmed the 2012 "The Story" Marsanne Roussanne Viognier from the Grampians in Victoria. This was an excellent way to start and one of the two highlights of this tasting menu. Strangely, I found subtle influences in this course with one that Andy Harmer prepares at Virginia Plain. Given Andy used to work in the Shannon Bennett empire, the correlation is not that queer though and it made me smile. The mackerel was cured perfectly and given that I prefer this particular fish cured, ultimately led to greater satisfaction.

A simple ferron risotto with mushrooms followed however the shaved black truffles that accompanied it made this a course huge on flavour that had my nose nearly in the food allowing it to take in every possible whiff of the noisome black gold. Besides for my well documented love affair with spanner crab, I become sexually excited when I am in the midst of black truffles. Fortunately for those in the restaurant, white stinky fungus from Alba was not in season as the public should not have to bear witness to that level of excitement however as a whole, this dish was magnificent and I used the remaining bread to soak up every bit of evidence on this plate and gleefully returned the physical dish absolutely devoid of any food. The 2010 Basils Farm Pinot Noir from Swan Bay, Victoria, was an adventurous choice by the sommelier who accommodated our hedonistic whims by providing multiple tastes just to ensure that we appreciated this vintage properly.

A blood orange sorbet acted as palate cleanser during the intermission where we moved to a more substantial offering, the David Blackmore bolar blade. Originally when it was announced that this was the next course, I felt a certain amount of consternation as for some strange reason a cut of beef, regardless if it has the David Blackmore name or not, has never really impressed me for some strange reason. I have frequently said that the degustation experience that I had earlier in the year at Vue de Monde would have been perfect (and suitably ended up with a different rating from me) if the David Blackmore steak was substituted for something a bit more adventurous however in the case of this bolar blade, I was in awe. The substantial marbling of the fat made it possible to cut the beef with your fork and along with the mackerel, made this dish a stand-out. Marcus found a 2010 Terrazas "de los Andes" Malbac which hails from the shadows of the Andes mountains in the Mendoza region of Argentina to match the sublime corner cut of the perfectly prepared flesh.

An experience at a Bennett property tends to have at least one "WTF" moment and this took place with the last official course, a dessert being the Bistro Vue interpretation of a "Snickers" bar which was not only playful but delicious. I had not enjoyed a standard issue Snickers bar in over a decade so the kitchen's interpretation of it certainly restored not only memories but my ability to salivate as I consumed it without much grace or regard for manners. A 2010 Mas Amiel Grenache, Vin Doux Natural from Languedoc-Roussillon, France complemented this course and ultimately the dénouement of the kitchen's grand plan. There is always at least one dish that I muse over for days wondering how they went about preparing it and this was it.

Petit Fours - canelé, pate des fruits and chocolate cigars were first matched with a 2008 Château le Pradey from Saint-Croix-du-Mont, Bordeaux, France. After multiple tastes we thought it would be fitting to celebrate this wonderful menu with a half bottle of non vintage Krug ($310, where the total amount of alcohol consumed considering cocktails and the wine matching came to $443) where we saw the masses ultimately matriculate from all the the tables and we were left in ultimate silence to ponder the evenings proceedings and wonder how five hours passed so quickly. I suppose when you are in a very comfortable environment where the food and wine encourages gentlemanly and pleasant conversation where the service was never intrusive and complemented the experience totally, the minutes can easily turn into hours and potentially days in this place. Not only do I look forward to returning, but I will be doing so often.

Bistro Vue was awarded One Hat in the 2012/2013 The Age Good Food Guide however it really deserves two in my humble opinion. This was one of my "top" dining experiences of 2013 so far.

Bistro Vue

430 Little Collins Street, Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9691 3838

http://www.vuedemonde.com.au

My Rating: 17/20

Service: 4.75/5

Ambiance: 4.25/5

Quality: 4.75/5

Value For Money: 3.25/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 85% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Bistro Vue.