Bluecorn Mexican, St Kilda - Big Me

Being in the mood for Mexican-inspired fare since Cinco de Mayo celebrations were just around the corner, I found myself meeting a mate at Bluecorn Mexican Restaurant just off Acland Street in St Kilda. As I had some spare time before this long lunch was planned, I walked to the venue from Southbank via Beacon Cove and Beaconfield Parade, so by the time I fronted up, I not only brought my weary body but a raging thirst and appetite.

The first thing that I noticed at this place was a fair amount of food abandoned on vacant tables which sounded warning bells in my head. Service was happy to seat us and clean up a table with some sort of chemical in front of us so it effectively smelled like the back room of the dry cleaner. Perusing the blackboard specials and also drinks menu did settle me down a bit and the fatigue from the 10km stroll started to set in. We ordered a litre of the Bluecorn Punch, which was a concoction of vanilla tequila, midori, (fresh) strawberries, pineapple and soda ($24.50). This drink had a bit of a kick and provided the needed refreshment and courage that I needed to order one of the specials - a chorizo and scallop taco with chipotle salsa ($14) which honestly scared me. The "taco" wasn't presented as a traditional taco which you can pick up and eat, but more like a tostada, where so much product was placed on top of the fried dark corn tortilla that you had to eat 50% of the fillings off of it before you had any chance of picking it up. When I finally got the "taco" into a manageable state, I picked it up but a fair amount of juice from the scallops and chorizo started running off and onto my plate. This was a messy dish and obviously not meant to be finger food. The substantial amount of product made for a hefty salad-esque start though. The chorizo was fine, as were the scallops however I got the feeling that these two elements were paired for dramatic effect and not because they taste good together.

Wanting to try more flavours with the litre of beverage, I ordered the "sizzling 'chile' chicken enchilada with guacamole and sauce" ($28) and wondered how a simple enchilada could cost so much. In fact, this is the first time since I started writing this blog that I mused that everything was just so expensive. When this dish was presented I understood why it cost so much, it was massive amount of food. Like the taco, which was really a tostada, this enchilada was not presented like an enchilada, but a burrito, with red sauce around it. I cut into this burrito of sorts and started eating the chicken filling, beans and rice and found it tasty at first but after the twentieth taste, I started to get bored. This is a vexed problem with the restaurant that I found. Massive amounts of food are served with an equally high price tag. It is nearly impossible to enjoy any sort of variety because of the sheer volume of food associated with each dish so you are constrained to one or two dishes at most.

My dining companion ordered the Chicken fajitas ($30.50) and also was not able to finish the dish. When we finished the alcoholic punch we were unable to get the attention of service to get a refill so we decided to pull up stumps and waddle out with full stomachs and much poorer for the pleasure. The one thing that annoyed me is that along with the high prices, when you pay with a credit card, regardless of type, you will incur a 2% surcharge. After spending $97 on three dishes and a litre of beverage, I wasn't too pleased about this.

We understood why so much food was abandoned on the table by other patrons. It isn't because it was bad per se, but because of the amount that you are provided. I really hope at some point that this restaurant decides to cut the portion sizes by half, along with the prices so customers can enjoy more of this Tex-Mex fare with a California twist but until then, I will find other places to placate my need for the fare.

Bluecorn Mexican Restaurant

205 Barkly Street, St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 9534 5996

http://www.bluecorn.com.au

My Rating: 10.75/20

Service: 2.75/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3/5

Value For Money: 2/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 83% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Bluecorn.

Seddon Deadly Sins - Gluttony and Envy

On a recent trip out west, before attempting to experience a river cruise up the Maribyrnong River, I stopped at Seddon Deadly Sins in the proud suburb of Seddon (funny that) for the second time in my life.

Having previously enjoyed breakfast at this lively and quirky cafe, I thought it would be apt to call in for a quick lunch. Their breakfast offerings are named after the mortal sins as observed by Christians and although I really don't think that the breakfasts at this cafe will destroy the life of grace and charity within a person, the taste and indulgence of house-made flourless chilli corn loaf, served with crispy bacon (that is actually crispy), guacamole and spicy baked beans ($16.50) would lead to Sloth, which is the mortal sin this dish is named after. Like the green eggs and ham ($14.50) being named after Envy and the Spanish eggs, cooked in the house made salsa with olives, onions, parmesan, chorizo and sourdough toast ($15) named after Wrath, the cafe certainly plays on the theme well and also exercises the play on words that incorporates the suburb name into the fun.

Having experienced the Sloth breakfast offering previously which impressed me with its crispy bacon with service that exhibited absolutely no wrathful qualities, we decided on the blackboard lunch specials for the follow-up visit. I opted for the scotch filet on Turkish bread ($16.50) which was cooked fresh to order. The long black that was quickly delivered was the strongest cup of coffee that I have enjoyed in years. In fact it took about four hours to come down from the caffeine hit. I was buzzing. A damn good cup off coffee - and hot. The scotch steak was substantial and there was no fat. I was grateful that only piece of Turkish bread came with this deal as it proved to be a substantial dish.

What impressed me is how friendly service is. From the moment that you enter, you are greeted with a smile and a sense of welcoming. It wasn't fake and your mood changes after having a quick chat and deciding to eat inside, out in the courtyard or even on the street. The cafe is busy with people challenging them for takeaway beverages and even dessert however service remained consistent and I said it before and I will say it again, friendly.

I really like Seddon Deadly Sins and wish that it was more convenient for me to visit as I would return at a greater frequency if I could easily walk there. Fortunately for those in Seddon and Footscray, residents have this great cafe where I am just left to be envious.

Seddon Deadly Sins

148 Victoria St., Seddon VIC 3011
(03) 9689 3092

no web site

My Rating: n/a

Service: n/a

Ambiance: n/a

Quality: n/a

Value For Money: n/a

Open for breakfast and lunch Tues - Sun




Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 89% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Seddon Deadly Sins.

Las Chicas, Balaclava - Not Another Mexican Place (seriously...)

Usually the only excuse that I have to visit Balaclava, which is on the Sandringham line, a suburb that borders St Kilda is to either visit my accountant, purchase kosher food, practice conversational Hebrew (I know five words at best) or exit the station and immediately walk to the Local Taphouse. In this instance it was suggested that we visit Las Chicas on Carlisle Street to which I exclaimed "oh come on, I have had so much Mexican fare in the last few weeks, I need a break from it!" which startled the other party. After I carried on like a pork chop about Mexican fare, the forthcoming Cinco de Mayo celebrations and where I would be spending that festive day, the bored party advised me that Las Chicas was not a Mexican restaurant per se and is more of a cafe that has a few breakfast dishes that have Mexican influences, but that is the extent of it.

About the time that my face faded from red to white, we arrived at the cafe. Located near the train station, the front windows were wide open exposing the tables inside to the cool elements of the day. There are a few long tables out on the street which were being used fully by diners and coffee sippers. Prams were parked. The place was a hive of activity.

We were greeted and seated. Coffee was ordered. Menus were reviewed. The cafe does indeed have an expansive breakfast list and I did see a breakfast burrito detailed, but there was nothing else which had a Mexican influence. I ordered a SLAB ($14) which is a bacon, lettuce and avacado sandwich which utilised some very large but thin pieces of turkish bread. My bemused companion ordered the roast beef sandwich ($15) and said that the highlight was the beetroot that complimented the tender beef. For me, a coriander-based salsa livened up my healthy choice and despite the bacon being very soft (I prefer it crispy which is hard to come by) the sandwich was great and filled me up. The long black ($3.50) was a bit weak and didn't do much for me sadly. Service was pleasant and chatty and made for a relaxing pit stop before conducting boring business elsewhere.

Las Chicas

203 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, VIC 3183
(03) 9531 3699

http://www.laschicas.com.au

My Rating: n/a/20

Service: n/a

Ambiance: n/a

Quality: n/a

Value For Money: n/a

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 82% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Las Chicas.

BangPop - Bangkok mmmbop

Even though I did not see a 90's boyband performing, let alone Ed Sheeran propping up the lego-themed bar which remains as a curiousity from the eateries former incarnation, Sharing House, one could expect a pop identity serenading hungry patron's at South Wharf's newest incarnation, BangPop on the South Wharf Promenade.

Tom Waterhouse likes to think he knows what punters want. The team behind BangPop actually know what we want which is evident by the menu that pushes your senses and reaffirms my belief that dining out is all about new experiences. A relaxed party-like atmosphere where the patron is taken care of with a playful amount of cheekiness and from what I noticed an empathetic floorstaff that realise that most people that dine at BangPop would not be able to comfortably be able to handle the spice and associated heat of the dishes and sauces. For me, I can never get enough fire and have previously dared the kitchen both here and at unrelated kitchens to "prepare it like you would in (insert hometown) and not how the white man wants to eat it!" which is usually far too tame and boring. Any chest hair that I have is the result of these bold proclamations after the kitchen delivers an authentic - tasty and very spicy dishes that in turn makes me pause, gulp large amounts of Singha beer ($7) knowing it will not placate the god of fire but the ancient art of edging, where the process of eating the street food mirrors an intimate act where you nearly orgasm but refrain, only to repeat the process over and over again until you can't take it any longer and request the bill. Fortunately serviettes are provided.

My first adventure at BangPop was inside at a communal table. The restaurant had just announced a $15 lunch deal which included a "small plate" of either chicken or pork respectively (I tried both of these dishes and they were equally good) and a can of beer however not just being satisfied with this reasonable sample of foodstuff, we also ordered the Kor Moo Yang (pork neck - $11.90) and Sua Rang Hi (grilled beef - $12.90) to compliment the very reasonable and spicy specials. The kitchen had me hooked with the neck and an absolutely fiery and wonderful nam jim saap sauce with very pronounced flavours of coriander, chillies, garlic and a hint of sugar. The sauces and the associated condiments that are provided not only add flavour but add a sense of James Bond-esque intrigue to this self-proclaimed street food which should not be confused with cheap or being plebeian, but is full of flavour where it is just hard to stop gorging.

On my enthusiastic return, it was a sunny and mild yet windy day in Melbourne so assuming it could be the last day where you are not required to wear a jumper for absolute comfort, we made the executive decision to sit outside and watch the Yarra river and rubbish flow past along with the confused tourists migrating from the DFO. Service remained attentive to our needs for seemingly unlimited amounts of Singha and after a repeat performance of the pork neck, we decided it was only proper to run the full gamut of the menu and enjoyed the Tod Mun Pla - Barramundi and red curry paste (fish)cakes with yet another bold sauce, this time a nam prik pla-grop, a chilli fish sauce of sorts that even had a few chilli seeds in it for good measure. This appealed to my desire to wake up with a case of ring of fire and tasted so good going down the old gullet after bathing the fish in this authentic pool of beauty.

Kai Chae Mae Pla Tod (Chicken Ribs - $12.90) followed from the "small plates" menu and despite appearing to be a meager portion of dry meat found its natural match with the nam-jim talay accompaniment. A green chilli sauce that was both affronting to my nasal passage because of the pepper in a good way, and after eliciting a sneeze, I knew that I found what I could eat daily. The nose "knows' as they say. Of all the starters, the Sai Krok Issan (Pork Sausages - $10.90) were the most tame however the general populous would find the levels of chilli a bit confronting even though it is neutralised by the cabbage, which is a natural remedy to the tingling palate - a bit like a vampire is a to a werewolf, or so it goes supposedly.

Not able to resist the "larger plates" we had to see what the Kang Daeng Phed (Duck Leg Red Curry - $22.90) would taste like. It is no secret that I like to prepare my own duck at home and evolving my personal recipe and appreciation is a bit of an unnatural and ridiculous hobby so I remain critical of how third parties treat the eponymous mallard. BangPop again delivers. The duck is moist and when combined with a handsome amount of chilli, but this time it is neutralised by roast coconut, yet another palate savior, is a winner.

I made the mistake of having the duck (and more Singha) before tasting the Gaeng Lueng Tai - the poached "market fish" and in this instance was skirt, a fatty fish that happily absorbed the pla grop that had a pronounced taste of lime and sugar. It should have been consumed before the duck however the amount of Singha that I consumed affected my judgement and I only have myself to blame. Still this yellow curry was quite good and although not noticeably "hotter" compared to the red curry, still was very tasty.

The service staff remained not only attentive but humourous throughout our ad-hoc experience where we hoped to gorge ourselves in the afternoon sun like snakes and enjoy as much "authentic" Thai street food that we could possibly muster. Service remained consistent and cheerful on both visits and the virtual isolation of eating outside did not impact service levels or the sense of enthusiasm. I found the communal dining inside to be fun and associated it with a positive and vibrant atmosphere. I like to think that I am a better man for experiencing BangPop and it isn't too often that I act like a fiend and require returning to a place so quickly just to get more bold tastes which teased not only my palate but my libido. If you are looking for a reason to visit the South Wharf precinct you now have an excuse despite being spoiled for options in general. BangPop is now my new favourite in the somewhat maligned area.

BangPop

35 South Wharf Prom., South Wharf VIC 3006
(03) 9245 9800

http://www.bangpop.com.au

My Rating: 14.5/20

Service: 3.5/5

Ambiance: 3.5/5

Quality: 3.75/5

Value For Money: 3.75/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 82% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like BangPop.

Bistro Vue - Return from Exile

For me when I was just a lowly tourist and visiting Melbourne with some sort of frequency, it was my opinion that if I was going to dine at a Shannon Bennett property, it had to be Vue de Monde. It was as simple as that. On a few occasions in years gone past mainly because of lack of planning and the short notice that I gave to the restaurant, I ended up visiting Bistro Vue at Normanby Chambers on Little Collins Street, which is actually the old site for Vue de Monde before the restaurant moved to the top floor of the Rialto Tower.

With a fit-out that resembles what you would expect to be suitable for the House of Bourbon where the only thing missing is the Sun King sitting at one of the many large chairs with soft red upholstery where it could be confused that the Grand Dauphin takes up residence in a circular corner booth looking out over the third estate, this bistro, for the lack of a better term, not only possesses a simple charm but transports you back to a bygone era on a back street of Paris where the only characters missing are the multiple Jacques drinking DeFarge wine at the long and impressive bar made out of zinc.

When we called into the restaurant which tricks you by being named a bistro so that they can over-deliver and thoroughly impress as most diners would not hold a bistro up to the same standard as a restaurant - case in point: expectations would be higher should you dine at the contemporary Vue de Monde versus the traditional Bistro Vue. Fortunately the Grand Dauphin was holding court elsewhere and we were kindly offered the corner round table. Service was very accommodating and the professional yet chipper wine steward, Marcus, was able to offer us matching wine with the l'humeur du chef ($110/each) - chef's choice, or degustation menu, which proved to be exciting in its own right.

Whilst enjoying a gin and tonic (sadly they did not have West Wins gin however the Bombay Sapphire flowed) the kitchen prepared a simple but fitting amuse bouche to start - rusty wire oysters, essentially the best oysters of the day ultimately paired with a non vintage Veuve Cliquot Ponsardin "Brut", Champagne. Although this generic vintage is highly available and I have a few bottles at home waiting to pop, it was a fitting match to enjoy the oysters and lemon with.

A very apt and quick transition to the first proper course, citrus cured mackerel was amazing. The avocado and pickled onion that complemented the dish, not only had a Picasso-like presentation, the fish possessed so much flavour that the dish nearly overwhelmed the 2012 "The Story" Marsanne Roussanne Viognier from the Grampians in Victoria. This was an excellent way to start and one of the two highlights of this tasting menu. Strangely, I found subtle influences in this course with one that Andy Harmer prepares at Virginia Plain. Given Andy used to work in the Shannon Bennett empire, the correlation is not that queer though and it made me smile. The mackerel was cured perfectly and given that I prefer this particular fish cured, ultimately led to greater satisfaction.

A simple ferron risotto with mushrooms followed however the shaved black truffles that accompanied it made this a course huge on flavour that had my nose nearly in the food allowing it to take in every possible whiff of the noisome black gold. Besides for my well documented love affair with spanner crab, I become sexually excited when I am in the midst of black truffles. Fortunately for those in the restaurant, white stinky fungus from Alba was not in season as the public should not have to bear witness to that level of excitement however as a whole, this dish was magnificent and I used the remaining bread to soak up every bit of evidence on this plate and gleefully returned the physical dish absolutely devoid of any food. The 2010 Basils Farm Pinot Noir from Swan Bay, Victoria, was an adventurous choice by the sommelier who accommodated our hedonistic whims by providing multiple tastes just to ensure that we appreciated this vintage properly.

A blood orange sorbet acted as palate cleanser during the intermission where we moved to a more substantial offering, the David Blackmore bolar blade. Originally when it was announced that this was the next course, I felt a certain amount of consternation as for some strange reason a cut of beef, regardless if it has the David Blackmore name or not, has never really impressed me for some strange reason. I have frequently said that the degustation experience that I had earlier in the year at Vue de Monde would have been perfect (and suitably ended up with a different rating from me) if the David Blackmore steak was substituted for something a bit more adventurous however in the case of this bolar blade, I was in awe. The substantial marbling of the fat made it possible to cut the beef with your fork and along with the mackerel, made this dish a stand-out. Marcus found a 2010 Terrazas "de los Andes" Malbac which hails from the shadows of the Andes mountains in the Mendoza region of Argentina to match the sublime corner cut of the perfectly prepared flesh.

An experience at a Bennett property tends to have at least one "WTF" moment and this took place with the last official course, a dessert being the Bistro Vue interpretation of a "Snickers" bar which was not only playful but delicious. I had not enjoyed a standard issue Snickers bar in over a decade so the kitchen's interpretation of it certainly restored not only memories but my ability to salivate as I consumed it without much grace or regard for manners. A 2010 Mas Amiel Grenache, Vin Doux Natural from Languedoc-Roussillon, France complemented this course and ultimately the dénouement of the kitchen's grand plan. There is always at least one dish that I muse over for days wondering how they went about preparing it and this was it.

Petit Fours - canelé, pate des fruits and chocolate cigars were first matched with a 2008 Château le Pradey from Saint-Croix-du-Mont, Bordeaux, France. After multiple tastes we thought it would be fitting to celebrate this wonderful menu with a half bottle of non vintage Krug ($310, where the total amount of alcohol consumed considering cocktails and the wine matching came to $443) where we saw the masses ultimately matriculate from all the the tables and we were left in ultimate silence to ponder the evenings proceedings and wonder how five hours passed so quickly. I suppose when you are in a very comfortable environment where the food and wine encourages gentlemanly and pleasant conversation where the service was never intrusive and complemented the experience totally, the minutes can easily turn into hours and potentially days in this place. Not only do I look forward to returning, but I will be doing so often.

Bistro Vue was awarded One Hat in the 2012/2013 The Age Good Food Guide however it really deserves two in my humble opinion. This was one of my "top" dining experiences of 2013 so far.

Bistro Vue

430 Little Collins Street, Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9691 3838

http://www.vuedemonde.com.au

My Rating: 17/20

Service: 4.75/5

Ambiance: 4.25/5

Quality: 4.75/5

Value For Money: 3.25/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 85% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Bistro Vue.

Innocent Bystander Winery - Best Pizza in Aeons

Being somewhat tactical and knowing that the chances of being hassled for any sort of business requirements was very low on the Friday after Anzac Day, I convinced the epicurean emo to drive to the Yarra Valley to attend a few wineries since my immediate grape stash was getting a bit low at home, but also with the intention of enjoying a relaxing lunch which turned out to be at the Innocent Bystander Winery in Healesville.

Located next to the White Rabbit brewery, this wine complex is massive and provides generous space for functions, parties and fortunately what we discovered, a lazy lunch on the deck that is covered not only by trees but you can relax under the heat lamps and with a pint of ale (or glass of wine) in your hand, you can gaze out to the green rolling hills in the Maroondah Reservoir Park to the north.

My eyes led me to ordering both the rabbit and hazelnut terrine ($12) and the BBQ spiced quail ($12) from the Tapas menu as starters. The terrine was soft and easily spreadable on the bread that was provided and when complimented with the apple and celery remoulade, provided a vibrant taste and left me wanting more. Fortunately I was able to enjoy 50% of the BBQ quail, which was small but plump. Grilled to perfection and accompanied with pomegranate and walnut dressing, provided not only a bridge but a great excuse to order another pint of White Rabbit. The serene location with pleasant service was enabling me to chill out for a change and really enjoy the simple pleasures being afforded at the winery.

Pizza has never really excited me. After having a decent one just the other week at +39 Pizzeria on Little Bourke Street there was a certain amount of expectation around what I consider good however the four cheese pizza on offer, made simply with asiago, teleggio, buffalo mozzarella, cravero parmesan and locally sourced roast garlic ($23) blew me away. This wood fired pizza had to be simply one of the best that I have ever had. I know that that is a bold statement but I will remain steadfast in defending this opinion until the day I die, or I find something better. The blend of the cheeses combined with the perfect base really energised me, resetting me so to speak so I could get my mind into the zone to undertake some serious wine tasting in the Yarra Valley moving on and a sense of bliss that I do not experience often.

Innocent Bystander

336 Maroondah Hwy., Healesville VIC 3777
(03) 5962 6111

http://www.innocentbystander.com.au

My Rating: 14.5/20

Service: 3.5/5

Ambiance: 3.5/5

Quality: 4.5/5

Value For Money: 3/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 87% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Innocent Bystander Winery.

Two Birds One Stone, South Yarra - Sausage Days

There were not many options for lunchtime dining on Anzac Day and not wanting to get stuck into the tasty lager too early in the afternoon, we decided to converge at Two Birds One Stone on Claremont Street in South Yarra with the hopes of becoming adequately full before taking on the pub and of course the impending Collingwood-Essendon footy match.

As usual, Two Birds One Stone was filled to capacity. It didn't make a difference that it was a public holiday because this cafe always seems to be bursting at the seams with hungry punters waiting around on the street for their name to be called. Fortunately we live in a society that demands instantaneous gratification so from what I observed, a fair amount of people have their name added to the waiting list, only to skip out and be satisfied elsewhere. The wait for a table turned out to be a reasonable five minutes and we were shown inside to the high communal perch and provided menus. There is seating outside and interestingly enough some nearly-private booths along the perimeter of the eatery but we were not lucky enough to secure the prized real estate.

A single source long black ($4) was ordered along with a roast chicken sandwich ($16.50) which for me was exploring new territory since I have only ever consumed breakfast-type foods here before. Previously I was satisfied with the eggs and toast so I was not only curious but anticipating a substantial lunch. The sandwich didin fact turn out to be quite large however it was one of the most bland concoctions that I have consumed in some time. Adding a fair amount of salt and pepper did not help to enrich the taste of the very tame flat sausage that provided a bed of sorts for the chicken and tasteless aioli and rocket. The positive is that this was a big sandwich however with the weight of the boring sausage, the bread had fallen apart before it was finished.

The hiccup of the chicken sandwich is just that. I have always enjoyed the breakfasts as an aside. The Two birds ($22.50) is a substantial amount of food and comes with eggs on toast with mushrooms, spinach, heirloom tomatoes, haloumi, avacado, house made sausage and bacon and four dollars less if you forego the meat, which I do now. Although the same boring sausage is used in this all-day breakfast, it doesn't distract from the general taste provided whereas when it is used to compliment the chicken in the sandwich, it is an unnecessary annoyance.

There is a good vibe at Two Birds One Stone. Despite the place being filled to capacity it was not loud. The high exposed ceilings assist with acoustics and there is enough personal space when sitting at the communal table so you don't feel that others are eavesdropping on your important conversation. Service is pretty much what you would expect in a busy cafe. Nothing extraordinary but then again we were not asking for anything besides food and beverage to be delivered so I could not fault them if I wanted to. I suppose the lesson learned in this exercise is to stick with the Two Birds all day breakfast and get to the pub earlier to watch the sport.

Two Birds One Stone

12 Claremont St., South Yarra VIC 3141
(03) 9827 1228

http://www.twobirdsonestonecafe.com.au

My Rating: 12/20

Service: 3/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3/5

Value For Money: 3/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 82% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Two Birds One Stone.

Yu-U - The Dragon's Den

Despite having traversed Flinders Lane to visit numerous restaurants and places of interest in my life, I had never spotted the entrance to Yu-U. After hunting around for it like a pig does a truffle, I found the unmarked entrance to the restaurant surrounded by graffiti, threw open the door and descended into another world. I was immediately mesmerised by the dark smokey ambiance, concrete and polished timber. We were greeted with a smile by service who escorted us to seats at the yakitori grill after stopping to admire the fit-out.

Looking up and to the left I saw small windows that would provide some natural light during the day but in the evening you are left to see traces of images of the legs of human beings as they traverse past on Flinders lane from this subterranean bunker of sorts. The yakitori grill takes up a massive amount of space. Not only is it quite comfortable to sit at, service has a fair amount of space behind the grill to operate, pour drinks and then collect items from the grill itself. The layout is very Japanese and the venue itself is a place that personifies Melbourne.

After our hands were refreshed by very nice warm towels that were provided, I ordered 720ml of Shouchu Shirashinken ($105). Shouchu is different to sake - it is distilled and this particular drink has a noticeable taste of barley. Those that appreciate Shouchu can drink it neat, but for me it was like drinking straight vodka so despite trying to prove my manhood from the first glass, and seeing that my dining companion was also having a hard time with the taste, I asked for some soda and ice to accompany this beverage. For the remainder of the meal, service would lovingly pat down the perspiration on our glasses, gently add ice cubes and mix just a fraction of soda into this very bold and clear drink.

The restaurant has ten "cold dishes" available and we started with maguro (yellowfin tuna $18), buri (kingfish $15) and sumiso ae - an intriguing mix of avacado and salmon sashimi cubes marinated with mustard and miso sauce adorned with flying fish roe ($12). I couldn't help but think of the toro available at Shoya not far away and did not want to linger tasting sashimi in a restaurant that clearly is known for its hot dishes. The raw fish was very nice regardless.

As the restaurant filled up, more patrons started ordering items from the charcoal grill. We were not an exception. Not feeling adventurous, we made it easy for the chef and opted for the mixed eight skewers that are served without the chicken liver, skin, giblet and heart ($31) which were in turn excellent. Watching the chef use a paper fan to encourage the smoke from the grill to linger on the chicken before it was sucked through the powerful ventilation unit was soothing and left me in a trance. The kitchen fans are not able to eliminate all of the smoke from the grill though and as the night continued on, the restaurant became very smokey. The down lights throughout the restaurant identified the smoke and left me to believe I was at a concert however after a while it started to irritate my eyes and the novelty wore off.

The chicken which was originally sourced from Lilydale, made for some of the nicest free range chicken that I have ever had on a skewer. Oddly a single wing was also served and although it was tasty, it seemed out of place.

Alaskan king crab meat, cucumber, wakame seaweed with a sweet vinegar ($17) was presented after we consumed all of the chicken. This special was the highlight of the meal for me. The delicate taste of the crab went well with the Shouchu which was getting sipped with impunity. We resisted the urge to order chicken cartilage and other beef dishes and decided to finish with the unagi kabayaki - grilled eel with teriyaki sauce and wasabi. The intense flavours of the eel made the Shouchu very easy to drink and before I knew it, the bottle had been finished and we were back on Flinders Lane searching out further entertainment.

I was impressed with Yu-U. For me, the service is what made the experience a special one and when combined with the ambiance and different types of food on offer, it made for a memorable evening and I would certainly return however next time I will be trying the various chicken organs hot from the grill. Yu-U was awarded one hat in The Age Good Food Guide 2012/2013.

Yu-U

137 Flinders Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9639 7073

http://www.plus39.com.au

My Rating: 15/20

Service: 4.25/5

Ambiance: 3.25/5 (smoke factored in)

Quality: 4/5

Value For Money: 3.5/5

Opening Times
Lunch: Mon - Fri 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM
Dinner: Mon - Sat 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 88% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon also like Yu-U.

+39 Pizzeria on Little Bourke Street - Ace of Base

One thing that I appreciate about +39 Pizzeria on Little Bourke Street is that they open their doors for dinner service at 5:00 PM. My drinking partner and I who had previously retreated to the Irish Times on Little Collins Street were determined to enjoy a substantial meal because meetings earlier in the day extended through lunch, so my stomach was running on empty for the day and in fact I was agitated enough to honestly say that the tasty beer at the pub was not achieving its purpose.

We arrived at the restaurant at 5:15 PM and seemingly just in time. Despite walking into a vacant restaurant, only ten minutes later it had nearly filled to capacity. Long rows of tables were set up in anticipation for the hungry hordes however fortunately we were not relegated to a communal dining experience and instead were lucky enough to secure a table for two in the rear of the restaurant, away from the front door that was frequently being opened and allowing a cold gust of air in. There are tables near the window at the front of house but the sacrifice is being that you need to deal with the inconvenience of the elements and of course the foot traffic coming into the restaurant.

Service was quick to take our orders. I was so hungry that I immediately selected the special minestrone ($12) that was advertised in chalk on the wall near the kitchen. Birra Messina, a clear pale yellow beer from Sicily was on offer ($8/bottle) so I decided to continue on the wet path that I started earlier. A Degustazione mista - mixed tasting ($26) was ordered along with the soup, which included a selection of Italian cheeses and meats with the highlight being the spicy salumi - salami. The soup had a reasonable amount of vegetables in it and appeared to be prepared in the recent past as the carrots still had a bit of structure and nothing was overtly soggy.

As we also ordered the focaccia semplice ($9) which was just simple bread which allowed me to appreciate the cheeses a bit more, despite the extra-virgin olive oil, salt and rosemary, the morsels were nothing special. When the Bufala buffalo pizza arrived, the two person table was completely full and it presented a serious problem for service. One of my pet peeves at restaurants involve situations like this. Sure, it is in the interest of the customer and the kitchen to get the food as soon as it has been suitably prepared however there was no foresight with respect to real estate on the small table, which was already cramped in between other tables. We quickly enveloped the remaining focaccia, the remaining cheeses and drank the soup from the bowl just so that service could remove the pieces of ceramic, the riser and the wooden board effectively making room for the pizza. A simple pizza at that with Italian tomato salsa, buffalo mozzarella and basil, thus the apt name. It had a beautiful crust and the base, was absolutely full of flavour and wonderful. I had never experienced anything like it and distracted me from the mozzarella which is a hedonistic favourite of mine and made it simply as an aside.

Despite the restaurant being filled to capacity by the time our pizza arrived, service remained attentive and was quickly able to source and deliver new bottles of Messina, which we drank quickly because the close proximity of the group next to us was starting to annoy so the bill was paid and an exit into the then brisk night was made.

+39 Pizzeria

362 Little Bourke St., Melbourne VIC 3000
(03) 9642 0440

http://www.plus39.com.au

My Rating: 13/20

Service: 3.25/5

Ambiance: 3/5

Quality: 3.5/5

Value For Money: 3.25/5

Opening Times
Lunch: Mon -Sat 12:00 PM - 3:00 PM
Dinner: Mon - Sat 5:00 PM - 10:00 PM

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 80% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like +39 Pizzeria.

Café Vue 401 St Kilda Road - Any Given Sunday

Being tasked to organise a relaxing yet modest lunch somewhere between Southbank and St Kilda on a mild Sunday afternoon did not pose much of a problem. My reluctance to stagger to Café Vue at 401 St Kilda Road whilst still nursing a sore head and body after an especially big day out previously at Shoya, Eveleigh Bar, Hell of the North and the Gertrude Hotel is what concerned me however in the end after a somewhat lackluster dawdle there, I was able to meet friends and more importantly languish outside and be offered some professional service.

This particular Café Vue (there are five locations in Melbourne) is popular on the weekdays with the St Kilda Road corporate crowd and remains rather calm, cool and collected on the weekends as the uptight sorts have all left the area. What is most oddly appealing for me is the small outdoor dining space on the street. Normally I am not one that likes to dine next to the road however the manicured shrubs shield your eyes from the unsightly automobiles traversing back and forth and it is surprisingly peaceful despite the proximity to the bitumen.

After advising the staff that we were going to not only rest but dine outside, menus were provided. We inquired about the daily three course blackboard special ($55) however opted to start with the special artichoke soup followed by the David Blackmore wagyu beef burger ($19) with crispy bacon and a side of fries. Although the soup could have used a bit more salt, I found it tasty and very appropriate for the mild conditions of the day. Bread is provided so you are not left in distress considering how to suck up the remaining remnants of taste when the bowl is nearly vacant. The wagyu beef burger was much larger than I expected it to be. Being a fan of the Neil Perry waygu beef burger that is available from Rockpool Bar & Grill, I had high expectations and Shannon Bennett's café kitchen met them. What I was impressed with was that the crispy bacon was actually crispy - go figure, and combined with the fries, this dish certainly filled us up. Dirty Granny cider ($7) seemed appropriate over the Peroni ($7.50) that was on tap but in retrospect, I may have erred. The beer would have complimented the David Blackmore beef better however in the end, a bit of alcohol of any sort managed to improve both my mood and constitution and left me wanting more.

When we retreated inside with the intention to purchase macarons from the display cabinet, we decided that we were far too full and it would have been a gluttonous exercise that at least for me was not in the interest of my waist size. I did purchase some fresh bread that is on offer from a basket and took that with me to the bar at the Royce Hotel next door which had the footy  playing and of course ultimately a constant flow of inebriating fluids that are a requirement for watching any given game on a sullen Sunday.

Café Vue

401 St Kilda Rd., Melbourne VIC 3004
(03) 9866 8055

http://www.vuedemonde.com.au

My Rating: 13.25/20

Service: 3.25/5

Ambiance: 3.25/5

Quality: 3.5/5

Value For Money: 3.25/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 72% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Café Vue on St Kilda Road.

Cicciolina St Kilda - The Naked Truth

With the weather becoming colder and the sky weeping on occasion the other day, I had the honour of choosing a location for a much heralded lunch meeting in St Kilda and I happily made a booking at Cicciolina on Acland Street. The Italian-Australian fare and warm service on offer at this local stalwart seemed appropriate considering the climate, which ultimately cleared up incidentally whilst enjoying the second bottle of wine.

Three of us converged on the restaurant all at different times with a booking. Service was happy to provide Hepburn Springs sparkling water ($8) whilst the various parties waited for each other to arrive. Nothing seemed to be too hard or inconvenient for service at the restaurant and I found it a rather relaxed environment. Fortunately being the second to arrive, I was able to take a chair in the front dining room which enabled me to face the erotic artwork on the wall. When the conversation ultimately became quite boring and tedious at various points in the afternoon, I would inspect every detail of the art in my view. Not because I am a pervert, but just because I found the imagery fascinating and much more interesting than the conversation at times.

A Sorrenberg Gamay ($75) from Beechworth, VIC, was the first bottle of wine to arrive. I thought it would be appropriate being light and fruity, which would have matched well with nearly anything that we would order as an entree. Gamay is really the only grape grown in France's Beaujolais region and our friends in Beechworth have done an excellent job developing it into a light and cheerful vintage that would stand alone as a drinking wine and is even better with food. I paired the soufflé of blue swimmer crab meat with shallot and lemon thyme served on a champagne and chive velouté ($20.50) which although would be perceived as a smaller starter compared to others available, it was packed with flavour and really complemented the Gamay. Swimmer crab is a personal favourite of mine and I was impressed.

When the Sorrenberg had been vanquished and remained as a mere memory, a bottle of 2010 Erath Pinot Noir ($70) from Willamette Valley, Oregon USA, was sourced. I started to appreciate wine from this region more after attending Pinot Palozza in Melbourne last year. As the region had not been producing grapes for that long, classically I have always ignored it but found that the Erath, despite being more of a fruity wine, I thought would selfishly match my main quite well; the special venison leg fillet with potato gnocchi, baby beets and a chestnut ragu ($41.50). The venison was roasted rare and was amazing. Very lean cuts combined with a beautiful purple-rare colour complimented both the ragu and potato gnocci like a dream. I am glad that I opted for the lighter wine so that it did not overwhelm the taste of the deer and in the end I was satisfied by the large portion provided. My dining companions seemed to enjoy their respective scotch fillet ($41.50) and duck leg ($40.50) and were equally impressed by the matching of the wine.

Throughout the extended dining experience service remained consultative and patient. Head chef Michelle Elia has devised a smart menu where the fundamentals of Italian cuisine can shine and when served in the cozy confines of the dining room, or even the back bar which is open on weekends, makes for an experience within itself. Making a journey to the toilet requires you to leave the restaurant completely with a key that will grant you access to shared facilities in the complex. When I spotted the junkies hanging out at the entrance to the restroom I decided my bladder was not that full and instead retreated back to the dining room knowing that I had the resolve to hold it in until we visited a bar afterwards.

I would certainly return to Cicciolina and it does make for an alternative to Café Di Stasio if you are looking to enjoy Italian cuisine in St Kilda.

Cicciolina

130 Acland St., St Kilda VIC 3182
(03) 9525 3333

http://www.cicciolinastkilda.com.au

My Rating: 15/20

Service: 3.75/5

Ambiance: 3.5/5

Quality: 4/5

Value For Money: 3.75/5

Twitter: @epicurean3006

e-mail: epicureanofsouthbank (at) gmail (dot) com

web: www.epicureanofsouthbank.com

At the time of this post, 87% of the reviewers on Urbanspoon like Cicciolina.